Hereafter
by The Umbrella Man
Summary: With his faith wavering, how does Ponyboy live his life after the deaths of Dallas, Johnny, and Bob?  Maybe he'll make some friends along the way, and he's always got his brothers to count on, right?  But the troubles don't seem to stop...
1. Chapter 1 : Deflection

**H**e_r_e**a**f_t_e**_r_**

**Arc 1 : Chapter One**

**Deflection**

_I don't own anything! All rights to the Outsiders goes to S.E. Hinton._

* * *

"I don't care."

"Oh, you don't care, do you? You are barely passing any of your classes for crying out loud!" I only grimaced and faced away with my head down.

"What do you think you're doin'! You used to get A's without so much as trying hard, but now it's hard enough to get for you to get C's!"

"Yeah," I was bitter but tried to calm down if only just a little. "Well _maybe _I don't feel like trying anymore!" I had about enough of that, the situation was becoming volatile real fast and now's not the time, dammit. I stormed out walking with my thumbs hooked into my dark blue jean pocket.

"And where the hell do you think you're going!"

"_Anywhere but here_!" my older brother was really aggravating me and Soda was still asleep. Well it's not like he's gonna help me anyways.

* * *

I looked into a clear puddle at the park expecting to myself, but instead I found a pale and greasy, little boy. Looking at the bleached, or rather, stained hair made me miserable. And sure he still had long hair, but his eyes were unrecognizable to me now. The grayish-green shade stayed the same, but they were dull, bitter, and grim much like the features on the face that I saw. They no longer danced nor shined like they used to. Oh well, I suppose._This is real, this is me._

He was a greasy piece of trash alright; well he certainly looked the part. (Ah hell, I'm a greaser and that's how I'll always be) I tried to convince myself. The scary thing about that thought was that I was actually beginning to believe that.

A question rang in my head. The same one from before (What kind of world do we believe in where all I've got to be proud of is a reputation for being a hood and my long, greasy hair?) My thoughts wavered upon the answer. (Oh yeah...) I thought solemnly. (This one).

I quivered as I found a bench to lie on. It was 6: 00 or something like that; the sky was still _dark blue_ with the exception of a small portion in front of me that looked like a tear in a bed sheet more than anything else. I took a deep breath and really wished I had a smoke right now or at the very least, a book.

Normally, since I'm already out here, I'd be drawing by now. Trash was sparsely scattered along the park and grass grew in ugly brown patches, it didn't exactly paint a pretty picture. The places around our neighborhood have never been glamorous, to say the least. But this park, despite being the same place I could've very easily met my fate, was at least a cut above the neighborhoods it was surrounded by.

_It wasn't normally like this._

Not even the sunrise could cheer me up; it was still early enough in Autumn for the sun to rise at this time. But of course the clouds **had **to cover it.

_I just **know **it's gonna **rain **today._

I can't stand it, why does Darry still keep on treating me like this; like a kid. Grades were due today and I know mine aren't so great. I'll probably get some D's and I'll have to face a caustic and didactic lecture when I get home. I hate it when people yell at me, always have. Darry's done it so much you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but no. Him hollering at wasn't any better if not worse than before. Darry doesn't dig me, alright. I guess he's let up a little more than before, but still.

I wouldn't tell him or anybody, but I really wished Soda was home more, but when he is. I know we got into that huge fight, but I still wanted my brother. The one who was always there for me, who could understand me and stick up for me. But no... I'd never tell him that either. Now we avoid the crap outta each other, being near him for longer than 5 seconds only makes me more bitter, him too.

I shuddered at the things I said to him that one time. _Shut the hell up Soda! You don't understand; you could you? How would you feel if Steve died in front of you? So then, why the hell do you have the right to tell me what to do?_

_..._

When he did come around, he'd usually bring Steve over too, who still didn't like me that much. Steve was like Darry only worse; judging my every mistake and always having to point them out. But his words were often blunt and unhindered unless Soda was around. I know he, like Dally, never liked little kids, but I'm not one, why can't anybody see that? He still treats me like that tagalong kid, but I'm not dammit.

And Two-Bit's never around either; well that's Two-Bit for you, there when you don' want him to and not there when you need him. If I remember correctly, he got himself a cool new switchblade, it wasn't the same as before but it was good to see that some things never change.

He got real pissed at me once, I suppose he has the right, but still. I have every right to be pissed at him too. If he hadn't done that then _maybe _Jamie and I would still be friends.

* * *

...But Darry was right though, my grades really suck; I've nearly stopped eating, I've become more absent-minded, and lazy as a bum (not like Two-Bit). And I don't know why I was mad at him or anyone else. It made me miserable not knowing, and I know it made them miserable too. It only made things worse too, I can tell what they're all feeling. Disdain and fed up by now. Not surprising though. But I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. I'm not ever sure how to feel right now.

It wasn't right for me to say that to Soda. If I could take it back then I would, but that's not happening. What's done is done, I can't change that now.

At least my nightmares have completely stopped now. But now I've almost completely stopped dreaming altogether, when I'm asleep, It's all just an undying, static shade of black everywhere; and nothing else. (Sorry Cherry, I guess I'm not a dreamer anymore) I couldn't help but think.

Speaking of the devil; a familiar figure walked up to me with a friend on the sidewalk, plenty far away from me. "Ponyboy, what're you doing here!" (Oh why do you care? You wouldn't at school!) I thought coldly, but instead I just looked right through her, not really surprised.

Not much of anything truly surprised that much anymore. If Soda came home with a kid, I wouldn't be so surprised at all, especially because of the way those girls look at him like that. Heck it's surprising he's never even done anything with those girls, at least I don't think so. I wonder just how he stands it all...

But she was genuinely worried, if not a bit nagging, "Ponyboy, you know it's like 6 : 20 right now." I stared at her blankly like I didn't care, because well, I didn't so much. "Don't you know if you're late to class again, you could fail?" I knew, but I hardly cared, don't ask me why, my grades did not matter to so much; Darry knew, and it annoyed the crap outta him.

Her friend was worried too but definitely not for me. She called out, "C'mon Cherry, don't make _it_ mad," she hollered in a hushed voice trying to make sure I wouldn't hear, she failed and earned my evil eye. _Is that what I am to them? It's not like Socs are any better. _At the sight of my malevolent gaze, the girl backed up and tripped and landed in a small puddle, I half-heartedly laughed at her malaise, on the inside.

I noticed that Cherry looked at me strangely; in a way I've seen before but it was never directed to me by anyone, but to someone else, I can't remember who. Cherry looked back at her friend and then back to me, she let out a sigh. Her green eyes twinkled as the shining winds came swooping down from behind her,"I gotta go, Ponyboy please just don't be late," her voice was stern. I gave in, for some reason. I didn't have to do anything to tell her 'Okay.'

A column of light shined out on the both of us. The sky was bleeding in a lustrous and iridescent shower of scarlet lights. I couldn't help but smile. She turned around and smiled too. It was good to see a nice girl smile after so long.

She left with her friend in a red Corvette.

* * *

I wasn't late to class; no matter how much weight I've lost, I was still a great runner. I could run for minutes on end without stopping if I wanted to. Today, I took a shortcut to school through a couple of the nicer neighborhoods; I didn't before since Socs would be driving around there. They'd usually curse me out or try to throw something at me like a soda can, or a piece of trash. Sometimes they'll try to go further, but it never lasted. I wouldn't let them.

After Bob's death I've become pretty famous around here, to both Greasers and Socs but for different reasons. To one group I was a hero, to the other, I was an assistant to a murderer, but more commonly, the murderer of Bob Sheldon.

It irritated me that they'd think that since the whole incident was all their fault: it's not our fault they were drunk; it's not our fault Cherry and Marcia couldn't stand them being drunk (who could?); it's not our fault Socs had nothing better to do than beat up Greasers for fun. It's not our fault we always got the short end of the stick.

_It's not our fault...It never was, but at the same time, it always is._

In school, I'd always sit way in the back or to the sides. I was always put in advanced classes with Socs so I never knew anybody, nor did I want to. I guess it kinda sucked being a smart Greaser, oh well. I'll just bleed it out like I've always done. But even though I was well known by Greaser all over Tulsa, I still didn't know much of them out there.

I don't think I've really met much new people in the past few months. Well to clarify, I haven't met any new people that I actually care about. If I did, they're gone _now_.

* * *

_That day, it was actually nice, at first. It wasn't so hot nor was it cold; the wind only blew in gently breezes and the sky was fair._

_"C'mon let's go," I wanted to go to DX that day and show Trae where my brother worked, he agreed without arguing much. He wasn't the type to do that, it's not like we had anything else to do. I wanted to hustle, but Trae kept his pace steady and cool. He's never been the same since I saw him in that alley. Though he didn't change much, I could still feel he wasn't him anymore._

_After quite a while, I noticed a bunch of people following us; they wore hooded jackets so that their face was hidden. Something that wasn't trademark to Greasers back then, or to anyone else really. Considering the recent events, the tension between the Socs and Greasers remained volatile as of now; one little incident, big or small, would definitely erupt a war. I had no intention of that happening nor did I want to take my chances and hope that they weren't after us. Trae wasn't stupid, not by a long shot; he caught on just as soon as I did, if not even sooner._

_We kept our pace calm but slowly and steadily sped up to increase the distance between us. We came across an intersection and we crossed it while they did not, we kept walking until another intersection where we turned to the side. Then we made a break for it. We were headed towards the DX Gas Station, we were in neutral ground, and the sooner we got to Greaser Territory, the better. If they were in fact Socs, then they would likely not follow us through it all._

_We ran all the way to a desolate neighborhood, it was still neutral ground but we figured it was plenty far away from them, but we were wrong. Somehow they were right behind us by like 30 feet, after crossing a street where a truck blocked the space between us for just a moment, we started sprinting. They soon followed suite, I noticed that the houses around us got bigger when compared to the others, and though the streets were just as desolate, and the lawns were all clean, green, and cut compulsively. No flowers in sight, with the exception of a few roses._

_We're in Soc territory. Not good. They split up, but grew closer and closer with every turn and intersection; they knew this neighborhood, we didn't. In an effort to shake them off, we took a different route, but what we didn't know was that there was Soc neighborhoods this way._

_Eventually, we were cornered into a dead end alley. They were definitely Socs, no doubt about it._

_"We never did pay you back, Grease. I think it's about time we do," they walked slowly, silently, smiling towards us. Eventually the all pulled out switchblades, all four of them. Damn, I really wished I had mine with me._

_(Could they be talking about Bob? That was months ago, if they were really mad at me for that, then why wait now.) Me and Trae backed up slightly. I glanced at Trae. He was tall and well built, a great fighter no doubt, but he hated it. He only fought when he had to, otherwise he didn't approve of it. Especially not after what happened with Laura. They had no right to do what they did. What did she do to them anyway? I grew bitter just thinking about it._

_(Leave Trae outta this!) I wanted to holler, but couldn't. He never laid a finger to any Soc in town, being the new kid, he was not only ostracized by most Socs, but by a lot of Greasers too. He never really bothered anyone, but after all we've been through, he was my friend. No doubting it. A friend with an amazing talent, I admired him for that. And so did a lot of people, but they didn't know it was him after all. I'd hate to be in his position, right now._

_Yeah, he was well aware of the Greaser-Soc conflict, but he didn't know about what happened with me. He didn't know that my best friend had killed a Soc and that me and him ran away for a week. Greasers and Socs were having it out that week and they always used Bob's death as justification. I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to know because I didn't think he'd ever need to know. I don't want him getting involved, he wasn't a part of any of this. He's not a grease or a Soc. Just a middle-class kid._

_I wondered if they knew about Trae, would they still try and fight us? Most Socs and greasers admired his work, but he'd never let anyone know, not even me. I wanted to tell them so badly, but Trae would never forgive me if I did, nor would I myself._

_His eyes started to shine, he said that he lived in New York before, but he ran away from home and somehow ended up here. I didn't ask why he ran away from home, but from the way he looked at fighting, and from how Dally described things up there; he might have left to get **away **from situations like this. He said he lived here before, __Trae said that most greasers and Socs didn't bother him so much then. B_ut his family moved away years ago.

_The cool shades of gray were gone, now they were blazing with rancor. I don't think I've ever really seen the guy angry before. Does he recognize them?_

_I'm almost sure he's done it once before, so maybe it won't be so bad for him this time around...But whose to say what happens here today? Maybe I've been lucky so many times that my luck's run out now._

_...But right now, we have no choice in the matter._

___I guess the day didn't turn out so nice after all._  


_We braced ourselves, I was ready to fight for my life._

_..._

"Look at me!" an incisive voice hissed. I looked up and cursed myself for doing so, it was Bell: short, tough (or so she'd like you to think), and of course, stuck-up. She was one of those spoiled, ignorant girls who giggled a lot, put on more make-up than a clown, and starved herself for no good reason. If the girl wanted to die, then she shouldn've just told me, or any other Greaser, for that matter. We'd get the job done for her, no sweat. So yeah, she was a dirty blonde, in a helluva lot more ways than one.

I was in English class, which was my last class of today. Though I'm getting C's and D's in most of my classes, I still had an A in English. Reading and writing were two things that I've always been able to enjoy. Cherry was also in this class; whether that was a good or bad thing, I could never tell you. But it was definitely a little of both, it just depends.

A while ago she'd she'd come over to my house sometimes for help in a class or to just talk; English class would eventually be mentioned. But not so much anymore.

But Cherry _always _did something in school that I really hated.

"Oh, my God! I didn't know that dirty hoodlums could understand English," (Maybe, but I doubt a thoughtless sleaze can do much better.) Cherry's eyes motioned as if she were pleading to her '_friend_' to stop or she'd slap her silly if she didn't stop anytime soon. I mused at the thought and looked right through her, which really wasn't so hard, did I mention that Bell was physically and mentally anorexic? Not the brightest of people.

I wasn't gonna respond. I wouldn't stoop to her level. Her words meant nothing to me, they had no relevance and she's given me no reason to respect her. My eyes deviated from the white bitch and saw Cherry now looking back at me. It felt cold, her eyes, Cherry looked at me in that way she had never done before. She looked at me with pity and I hated how it felt.

"Oh, c'mon Bell, he isn't worth it," Cherry uttered in a stuck-up manner, her eyes spoke differently. They both walked away to their seats.

(Why?) I thought sullenly, (Why did she always do that?) I grimaced internally. In school, Cherry wasn't the same person. She wasn't the nice girl, who loved special, dangerous boys like Dally and Bob, she wasn't the girl who dug movies, books, and sunsets like I did, no...

_She was just Cherry the Soc_.

She'd act like we didn't know each other, like we've never met before. She'd act like I was _just another greaser_ and that _we're all just the same_. I had to wonder, (is that how she treats me when I'm not around?) From her eyes, I could easily tell that there was a least some truth in her words.

And they stung, her words, if they had been from any other Soc then, maybe they wouldn't have hurt so much. But no. They **had **to be from Cherry.

My bitter gaze fixated on the Soc girl. (Cherry) I was miserable, (_just **who **the hell are you_).

...

* * *

Today we were talking about the new novel or something. I couldn't remember, I didn't care so much. He really gave us no work to do, just notes, and discussion - see, no real work at all. I pretty much day dreamed through the whole class - don't ask what the day dreams were because I doubt I can even remember that.

At the end of class, the teacher gave the class back their last English tests. The test was easy, it only had grammar, syntax, spelling errors, and definitions. You know, all of the basic crap English class gave you.

Mr. Vallen looked pissed as hell and was already itching to give my special-ed class a verbal butt-whoopin'. "This class is a disgrace!" my classmates scowled, especially the girls. The class grew silent, but inside I was laughing my head off. "Only 9 out of 19 people passed it: one B, four C's, and three D's. However one person in this class got an A; it was a 100, the only one in any of my classes." Mr. Vallen rarely expected much from our class, ever. But this was worse than anything he's given us, especially with something so easy. At least it was to me, and I'm a greaser.

My classmates or rather, the Socs, quietly discussed about it. Unlike greasers, Socs actually cared who was smarter than who...(S_uch **losers**_).

The bell rang and them Socs readily left to the buses.

"Mr. Curtis," Mr. Vallen called out.

I wheeled back around and looked at him, "Huh?" I sounded way too innocent.

"Can I talk to you," I looked at me with a solemn face and sighed. I sighed too, but on the inside, it's not like I didn't know where those words were going.

Mr. Vallen was a tuff guy. He had long black hair that was seemed just a little greased, but it was really too little for anyone to really notice. Cool and smart, rumor said that he was a good man in a fight too. He had a familiar feel to him, but this year was the first time I've ever seen him. He was a pretty big guy for only being 22 or 23 years old he must've skipped a grade or two, like me. Sickeningly enough, quite of a few of girls 'like' him. Eh, must be a Soc thing. I hear 'smart' girls go after older guys, but I seriously doubt that, more like desperate girls.

"I know that you went through a lot last year," his voice was steady with genuine concern. But I only narrowed my eyes and they began to flicker. Some of my teachers 'know' about the incident last year, through my theme. They all took pity me, and from what I could tell, he was no different.

"But that shouldn't have to affect your future now. You should be able to look passed it and learn from it." (Y_eah, and what **exactly **could I learn from it? That the Socs are fuckin' dirt bags; that watching people die sucks; that society is seriously messed up? Hell I knew that before any of '**that**' happened!_) I looked across the room, put my arms across my chest, and with a grim expression. I quietly mumbled out the words, "Yeah, whatever." I knew he couldn't help but think of my gesture as childish, I would too if I were him.

"I'm not saying to forget it and leave it all behind, the past makes us who we are now and-" his voice was rising as he noticed I was ignoring every word he was saying.

"_But that was then, and this is now_!" he almost yelling at me now. "Ponyboy, you have 3 D's, 1 C, 1 B, and 1 A right now," Yeah that caught my attention alright, but I wasn't too happy about it.

His face was brimming with sheer irritation of my lack of understanding. "If you don't shape up now, then you'll get kicked out of the Track team!"

I was livid. "What! Why!"

"You need to have at least a 2.5 GPA to be in the Track Team, if it's not then by the end of the first semester then you're out."

(_What_?) I glared at him incredulously. "Since when!"

"Since now!"

(_Oh of course_!) I grated my teeth as I thought indignantly.

With his point across (finally), Mr. Vallen quickly calmed down, none of this is his fault anyway, I mean, he's the only whose giving me an A still. But I was not without doubts that I truly deserved it. The last thing I wanted was his pity as well. "You should probably leave or you'll miss the bus," wordlessly, I agreed, left the school and began to walk home.

It would be a big understatement to say that I was upset about getting kicked out of the Track team. Running is one of the few things I've ever been dedicated to; I worked hard to be great in track, hell I've even quit smoking for it. If I couldn't have track, then there goes the only after school activity I would _ever _participate in.

* * *

Like some kind of machine on autopilot, I went home without thinking like the pathways home. Almost as if it were programmed into my system. But this really wasn't a rare event at all, I was surprised how safe I've been whenever I did.

A red Corvair stopped in front of me and cut me off. I counted only three of them; one stepped up closer to me.

"Well what do we have here?" he asked with a smug smirk, "A greasy piece of trash," another answered. I only glared at them, "Oww, that hurt, thugs have feelings too y'know," with my saracasm so palpable someone could choke and die from it.

They didn't respond, "Greasy trash, huh? Then what're you, dog shit?" their smiles faded as mine only grew, "You sure look like it."

The one in front ran up to me only to be tripped, landing flat on his face. I turned and ducked under a left swing and elbowed him in the stomach, lifting him above the ground and quickly grabbing his shirt collar with my other hand, and threw him at the other Soc I tripped up earlier.

The last one jumped on my back; I struggled as he kept flailing his arms at me. One of the other Socs got up, and punched me hard enough to push me towards the wall with this weight on my back. I didn't lose enough balance to fall over so before hitting the wall, I swung my back towards the wall, crushing the small Soc on my back, he dropped down like a brick.

By now, one of them had left, but the other came back at me with a kick which I caught and lifted it so he'd fall over. I started beating on him, almost senselessly. But the last one came back and tackled me into the ground, slugging me in the back. I managed to elbow the side of his face, knocking him over. I drove him into the wall and pulled out my switchblade, holding it up next his neck. In the corner of my eye, I was the other Soc left running with a limp.

(_Wow...They left this kid alone, just like that? If they were grease instead, that would never happen. We don't just leave one another, we'd defend each other no matter what. I guess that's just another thing different from us two. Oh, well. Whatever happens to this boy, it's on them. I hope they know that.)_

He was small like me; no older than 14 years old. He was definitely not a fighter, at least he shouldn't be. Especially from the way he fought, it seemed more like he was pressure into doing this more than anything else. He didn't really look like a Soc either, his hair was a quite a bit longer than most and his clothes weren't the nicest, albeit better still than most greasers'.

The boy began to pale as my switchblade neared his closer to his neck. His big, bright, black eyes looked at me in a paralyzed state of terror, pleading for the life he greatly doubted I'd give him.

I froze.

From his big, wide eyes, I saw someone I've known but I couldn't quite remember who it was.

I saw my reflection in his eyes, or at least I thought it was because I didn't see me.

Chills ran down my spine, my resolve was shattered. It was obvious to me, _(I'm not me anymore_).

I saw him.

(The hair, the scars, the eyes; they were all the same) My thoughts raced, and my blood was rushing from my head.

I let him go, he dropped to the floor. Our eyes met in equal disgust and fear. We both bolted out of there. Neither of us cared where, we just want to run away. My vision began to blur; I didn't know if it was the _rain _or something else, I didn't care. All I could hear were my own thoughts, the rain drop, and my ever racing heart beat.

_It's no wonder, _I thought._ No wonder Darry still hollered at me all the time; no wonder Soda has been avoiding me; no wonder Steve treated me even worse than before; no wonder Two-Bit's been so mad at me; no wonder Cherry looked at me the way she did._

(_I've disappointted them, I was a dangerous hoodlum whose best talent was beating people up for fun and making girls cry; a dirty, mannerless fiend who fails at school; a needy, fed up and self-centered jerk who couldn't do anything right. That's what I've become to them, I was now **just another greasy piece of trash**, nothing more than that_). I was disgusted by myself. And inside, I was burning up. The rain like cold icicles piercing my being simply felt like they were phasing me. As if they melted, then evaporated before I could even feel them.

The sky was back to being _dark blue._

I could have killed that kid; once no, twice my morality has wavered. Mom, Dad, how would they feel if they saw their youngest kid like this?

I'm sorry, I know I was never supposed to be like this. (_Why? How could I let this happen? It was my fault, all of it. They shouldn't have to deal with me dragging them all down. Dammit, why the hell did I even do any of that shit?_)

(_What the hell is wrong with me?_)

(_Who the hell am I_?)

I rushed home, hoping to God that no one was there.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This story occurs roughtly 5 to 7 months after the book ends. I will try to remain truth and faithful to the original story, but DON'T be surprised if I don't. I don't think it would hurt to mention it, but still, it's for the sake of a story. Although, this is an AU since many OC's will be involved.

Okay, so I made Ponyboy a jerk, that probably won't last. Over the days and weeks, the original plot has been edited several times over, mostly over the OC's and their roles. But this is still the very first fanfic I've ever tried to write. And my updates will likely be few and far between.


	2. Chapter 2 : Recognition

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Two**

**Recognition**

There was a small update here too. One of Soda's nightmares is near the bottom in italics.

**XXXX**

"Ahh!" I woke up. I was breathing heavily and sweat was running down the sides of my face. I was shaking and my eyes frantically scanned the area around me. But I began to calm as figured out where I was.

(Oh...It was just another dream) I thought jaded. As if by instinct, my right hand was searching for something beside me, but it found nothing, as I knew I would.

My door creped open, "Hey kiddo, you alright?" I held my head down and sighed, "Yeah, Dare. I'm fine."

He shot a skeptical glance at me, "Soda, this is like the third time the past two weeks that you've woken up screaming." His voice was calm, though I really didn't want to tell him more, I had to tell somebody. Steve? Hell no. Ponboy? If only. Darry helped Ponyboy get through his nightmares before so I might as well tell him.

"Jus' how long have you been having nightmares?" I tried to think back to the last good dream that stayed a good dream...Man that was a long time ago. Some of my dreams are simply empty, but that's better than having a nightmare any day. "If I had to guess, about three or four months ago." Darry's eyes widened slightly but became back to normal right afterward, "But I dunno what they're really about." I told the truth, mostly. Dreams were hard enough to remember when they were nice dreams, but trying to remember a nightmare was even worse.

"And I dunno why I'm having them now, I mean, I've really never had them before." Darry's eyes told me he knew some or one answer of my questions but if there is a reason why he won't tell me now then maybe he wants me to figure it out by myself.

"Soda, you should go back to sleep. Do think you'll be fine here?" (_Hell __No_!), "Yeah Dare, I think I'll be fine." Darry closed the door and left my room. I went back to sleep hoping he didn't though.

XX

It's been how many months again? Five or six I think. Well, it's been kinda hard since then, but I guess it ain't so bad.

Two-Bit's smoking more, but I hear he's trying to get a job for his family. I think that his mom got fired from being a bartender for slapping a customer. Does he still steal things? It's Two-Bit, he's still always looking for a good steal. At least he's also drinking less, for Johnny, I know. And he's even finishing up High School knew, who knew he had it in him? At least someone other than Darry and Steve is getting their diploma...

Compared to us, Steve was a bit more, uh...stoic. He's still drowning all his time in cars, big surprise. He still works at DX, I do too, things haven't changed much there. He didn't seem to take their deaths so hard. I could tell that to him, their deaths were, in the end, all the more reason to beat the tar outta the Socs. He and Two-Bit still stay at our house and we'd play poker or blackjack. Oh, and he cusses more, but it's not really surprising either. And he had that sullen look to him all time. But he still cared, whether or not he'd want you to believe it, but I've never know him to be the sentimental type anyways.

For some reason, Darry and I haven't really changed much. I was still a high school dropout who still worked at DX gas station. I still played football with Darry, Steve, and Two-Bit when I can, and but now I'm able to sit through a movie without causing much trouble. Maybe Pony's gotten to me. I don't know.

Darry still has two jobs to support me and Pony. He still hollered at Pony when I wasn't around, but that was really it. I guess he just doesn't have the time to care that much.

...I haven't been feeling that well. I'm feeling a little, uh, numb? I guess, I don't even know. My nightmares prevent me from sleeping too long so I've been tired a lot. Sometimes I'll trip over the little table in the living room. I might be doing nothing one second, but talking to someone the next second; they usually say we've been talking for minutes, but I don't remember any of it. And sometimes it'll be a random girl at DX that I don't even know.

Ponyboy was a different story. He took their deaths the hardest out of all of us. He's gotten a whole lot smaller now, probably less than 100 pounds now; it'd be a miracle to get him to eat twice a day, and one was hard enough as it is. Granted, he still loves Pepsi and so do I. But he's also stopped doing, well anything, really. He won't leave the house, he's always in his room so it's like he's still never around. He's always got a book with him everywhere he goes and he must sleep for 13 hours a day, or something like that. If he did leave, then he won't tell anybody. He was quiet enough before but if you look at him now, he's like unresponsive. I think he has all but one friend now.

For a short while, he did go out with some friends and went to parties, but not anymore. Something's happened, that much I knew but details, I don't know squat. Not even that Soc girl that Pone's been talking to, never comes around to see him.

But that's not what bothered me or Two-Bit most. He was different now and I missed him, the real Ponyboy. The one I could talk to, who could talk to me. Before there were no secrets between us, but now, who knows how much there are. To this day, no one really knows what happened back then at that old church. The only other two who did are long gone now. I doubt that asking him will clear up anything, either.

He also seems jaded all the time. He's either lost all his feelings or is on some real bad drugs (_I don't know which is **worse**!_) Before, he'd go anywhere with any of us, but now he'd just lone it. His eyes, they're empty now; unlike the lively green eyes that gleamed with emotion and shimmered with innocence that I used to know.

I reached out my hand to the right searching for something again. Did I mention he moved back into his old room? Yeah it hurt me pretty bad like a stab at my heart, but I'd never ask him to come back.

Ponyboy's no Greaser, at least he should never have been one, Darry too. But right now he's acting like a Greaser more than ever. He had something, a gift, that both he and Darry had that no _real _Greaser has. It was no secret, everybody knew even the Socs. Yet he was still considered just as bad as the rest of us, even when he was still a good kid. But why?

...

He's done a lot of crazy shit the past few months, getting in some trouble that only Two-Bit really knows about. If Darry ever found out, who knows what would happen. But I wanted him not to tell me because I still wanted, no needed to still see Ponyboy as my nice little brother. Two-Bit got that, and I'm glad he didn't say anything to anyone.

Oh...Me and Pony had a little fight. It was about, uh, never mind that. But I was telling him not to leave the house...Some how we got into a fight. Ponyboy...He was hollering at the top of his lungs at me. Blood drained from my head and the inside of my chest felt shattered. And I didn't know what to do, I've never been yelled at...it didn't make me feel so hot.

_"At least I've still got a **future**, Soda!"_

_"At least I'm not a **useless **dumbass!"_

His words really hit me hard; I felt like I was melting on the inside...There were a lot _more_, a lot _worse _things said, but I'd rather not remember them...I thought that maybe they wouldn't mean so much if they weren't so _true_...

But right then, I didn't know what to do - I didn't know what to _feel _- I panicked and hit him to the side of his face, his nose was bleeding. And his eyes shot back at me with radiating hatred.

I've never really _hit _anyone. (Socs don't count, are they even people?). But I've never hit Ponyboy, come to think of it, I've really been _hit _either, or at least not by someone I truly cared about.

I fight was broken up by Two-Bit, who was also mad at Ponyboy, for once. By then a tooth was broken and my mouth was bleeding, my chest was burning up, my white shirt held a faint red hue, and my arms were staggering. He didn't look so good either: he had a bloody nose, a bruise underneath his eye, a swollen cheek, and a busted up knuckle.

In the end, Ponyboy left the house anyway. He didn't tell where, but I knew Two-Bit knew. The others saw us, we told them that we got jumped by some Socs, he played along with it but Darry seemed to doubt it. Two-Bit left soon after Ponyboy did, he had to go home.

"You gonna be okay, Soda?" I was barely paying attention to him.

"Yeah man, I'll be fine," I had a dazed look in my eyes and my body was reeling still. He cocked his eyes brows and smiled slightly, but he knew not to comment.

All seriousness drew back into him, "Now listen, don't you worry too much about Ponyboy. I know he's got a lot stuff goin' on, but he'll be back y'hear?" I really needed to hear that.

"Yeah," I half-heartedly agreed but that wasn't what I was worried about. I was smart enough to know he'd be back, but in what condition?

"Hey Two-Bit..."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks..." I doubt he knew what I was trying to get at, but he simply took it and left.

In those last few months, Two-Bit's been kinda like a guardian to Ponyboy. He says he sees him around his neighborhood a lot and goes to check on him sometimes. Two-Bit's the only one who Pony really went places with now, to like the movies or bookstore; even if he didn't care for movies or books. I wasn't mad he took my job away from me, but I felt like I had been fired first and then Two-Bit just sort of replaced me. Right then, Two-Bit was really the only one of us left that he could stand.

And sure I got hurt pretty badly that day, but for some reason the punches didn't nearly as much as they should have.

Ponyboy moved back into his old room that day...

XX

I came home from work. It was 6 or 7, the house was dark and empty for once. I went to the sofa to rest my aching head.

Not to go off like Darry but, (oh where the hell is he?) Neither me nor Darry like him being so secretive, I hate how he's never telling us where he's headed off to. It had me worried, I know he's been avoiding me and I'm guilty of avoiding him too...But this is ridiculous, I don't think I've seen him in like three days.

_(Where is Ponyboy?)_

XX

I heard a faint sound. I headed towards our rooms and found Ponyboy crying. He was staggering and his eyes were bloodshot as they locked onto mine...A cold wave found its way into the house and ran down my spine causing me to shudder at the sight of my only little brother.

All I could do was stand there petrified (_What happened? Why's he crying? What should I do? What does he want me to do? Should I go over there and help him? Has he forgiven me yet? Have I forgiven **him **yet_?) My head began to pulse as my headache worsened, my face was still fixated in an awkward wry position.

...I decided to waste no more time and embraced my little brother in my arms. His tears ran down and quickly began soaking up in my shirt. They were warm but his body felt cold.

"Soda..." his voice was weak and he was trembling fiercely. I felt my insides welling up, but I kept calm for Ponyboy, I know he needed me to. I think I stood still for an eternity with my arms around the brother I was so sure I lost. From the look of him, he couldn't stand for much longer and neither could I.

I carried him into our room and placed him on our bed. It was much easier than before, he really needs to eat some more.

I sat beside him, he turned away from me and curled up into a ball. "Soda...I'm sorry."

(_Sorry for what Ponyboy? The fight? No, it had to be something else, something more_.) he struggled to say more.

I placed my hand on his back, "Shh, calm down Pony, please just calm down," though it was hard, I kept my voice quiet and placid. I had to, for my little brother.

XX

For basically the entire night, I sat there by his side. Neither of us spoke as the silence comfortably settled itself back into our home. He cried himself asleep and he was crying out for me, Johnny, Two-Bit, and even Dally, Darry, and _Steve. _Just like he did the time Johnny and Dally died...Except he wasn't saying that he didn't like baloney. He just kept saying sorry and it deeply pained me not to know why.

XX

The heard the front door close loudly but it wasn't slammed; It had to be Darry. Aside from Ponyboy's breathing, Darry's footsteps were the only sounds I could here; they reverberated in the house and tore through the dense silence like a knife through paper.

I was glad he was here, the silence was starting to get to me.

The footsteps came towards Pony's room but quickened their pace as it left. (What would Darry do?) I had to wonder.

My door opened, I knew he'd come to ask me where Ponyboy was but I sat still since he got his answer and more. For a brief moment, he joined me in just watching over Ponyboy.

It must've been 11 : 00 PM already. "Soda, you should go to sleep now," I agreed silently and laid myself beside Ponyboy. Darry could see that he had been crying in his sleep. I know he's gonna stay up all night in case Ponyboy would wake up early.

I placed my arm over him and he seemed to calm down just a little. It felt good, him being by my side again. In those months without him, I really missed him, a void formed in my heart that may have never healed. He wasn't Ponyboy anymore, that much I know is true. He might never have come back, and that worried the hell outta me.

(Why?) I thought miserably. (Why did he change so much? What happened? I doubt it was Dally's and Johnny's death, but could it have been because of what happened as a result of their deaths? Why hasn't he talked about it to anyone?) He wasn't pure anymore, his eyes looked like Dally's, almost like a snake, and it scared me something fierce. Looking at how he was acting just a few weeks or even days ago, I wouldn't be so much as surprised if he got hauled in by fuzz.

I shuddered at the thought.

_The fuzz came by our house and knocked down our door. Within seconds, they grabbed Ponyboy and restrained him. He was cursing the whole way they were bringing him into the police car. From then on, things only grew worse, he broke outta jail and ran away, got his hair dyed back to dark brown, and ran away. To survive, he gambled, sold drugs, and probably even killed people._

_The worst part: knowing he'd never come back; knowing he'll always hate us; knowing that at this very moment, he was being hunted down by the government. There would be a wanted post down the street. It said in blood-colored words, wanted dead or alive._

_..._

I used to think of Ponyboy as my innocent little brother, I lost that image in my head as I knew I'd have to eventually. But I didn't think it would happen so soon. But seeing him now, I think that image was coming back to me.

I hate not being able to do anything, right now. I wish I could do more than just be here until he wakes up. I wanted to let him know that no matter what happens or happened, he will always be my brother, and I'll always love him. I threw my arm around him; somehow I knew he got my message. His breathing steadied and the tears just stopped..._his _tears at least.

...

Without him I felt hollowed out, but not anymore. (_I have my brother back!_) I just know it.

As my mind lazily plunged into the darkness, I felt serene and calm. No fear, no angst, no deaths, not even wanted posts. My nightmares were gone.

XXX

I woke up panting heavily. I wasn't in my room, it was different...

I liked it, it was a bit warmer and far more comfortable than the dirty, little room that belonged to none other than me. Not to say that this room wasn't dirty either, a thick layer of clothes and papers covered the floor. Well if there was a floor, that is; you couldn't see it if you tried. (Man, I didn't even know we had this many clothes!) I doubt it's been cleaned since the last time I was here. (Where's Darry been? Why hasn't he said anything about this? I'm sure he would to me.)

I calmed down when I figured out the real reason why I loved this room so much more than mine. An arm stretched around from behind me, I smiled just knowing who it was. Right then, I felt like the last few months just never happened. The fights, the arguments, all that crazy stuff that happened, I, for just a moment, imagined that they never happened. I did a lot of stupid things in such a short amount of time, I felt guilty that no one really knew the whole story, though for my sake, I was relieved to know that. But I knew that was just my imagination, this was all real and there's not much I can do about it. (Oh well...I may have screwed up big time, but that's that. What's done is done...I just hope I can leave it all out.)

...

I lightly pushed his arm off me, trying not to wake him. It wasn't so hard though, months of insomnia could get someone to sleep through just about anything. I knew he had insomnia, he's tried to hide but it was plainly obvious to me; he was never great at keeping secrets, especially not from me. He's been having nightmares, I could tell because he'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night. But he never says what they're about.

I shivered. The side my face was wet and it felt real cold from the air. My pillow felt like it was just fished out from a lake. Soda was sleeping beside me only in his sweats, his pillow was soaked too.

I looked around for a clean shirt but couldn't really find one, I settled for a dark blue, sleeveless one that was the same kind as the one I wore a long time ago. It was big for me, bigger than it was then. Soda probably pulled off my shirt for me; it was raining a lot and I was soaked before even getting home. Knowing Darry, he probably reminded Soda worrying I'd get sick or something.

(What happened last night?) Right now, all I could remember was running home and _crying_. That's it. I don't even remember seeing Soda, let alone falling asleep. (_It was raining, right?)_

Soda was first one to find me, I was sure of that, and I was glad he was. I don't know what I'd do if it were anybody else. (Did Darry see me?) I wondered, I honestly don't know how he'd react; you just don't cry in front of Darry - ever. Glory, if Steve saw me, I'd _never_ live it down.

(Wait since when did I care what Steve thought?)

I looked back my big brother.

(What'd Soda do when he saw me? Did he forgive me already for what I did then?)... I scolded myself and wanted those thoughts to be gone.

(_No_) I thought with conviction. I've left that all behind, I'm sure of it. I looked back at my brother's face, a face that though it was stressed out and was pained; it radiated with vivacity and jubilation. (...I hope he's forgiven me, even if I don't deserve it. All I need as another chance to prove myself. I promise I won't disappoint you, Soda, not again.)

At that moment, my mind was flooded with thoughts, memories, and questions... I really needed to cool off, staying here will only make things worse for me and I don't think I can handle it.

I needed to leave - now!

I ran out the door just running. I didn't care where I was going, I just couldn't stay. Besides, I was used to it by now; y'know running aimlessly, after all, that's what I've been doing for much my life.

_(Don't you worry, Soda. I'm coming back, I promise...)_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to those who've reviewed earlier and thank _you _for reading.

Okay, so that was a pretty intense dream of Soda's huh? But it's gone now, right?

Yay! Somewhat of a cliff hanger. It was Sappy I know, but this was completely necessary for the advancement of the story. I originally intended this chapter to be be longer but now the 2nd half will just have to be Chapter Three (I haven't named it yet). I've finished making Chapter 3 but now I need to type it up; this story is become a bit more dramatic than I expected, but I'll roll with anyway. I like how this chapter turned out; it was very difficult for me to write.

You can kinda speculate what happens next so I won't give it out too much. Next chapter will be almost all about Ponyboy and Cherry, actually.

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3 : Encounter

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Three**

**Encounter**

_I don't own anything! All rights to the Outsiders goes to Susan E. Hinton._

* * *

The cold autumn air blew through the sides of my being, the wind was crisp and sent a chill down my spine. It wasn't such a great idea to go out just in shorts and a sweatshirt, but I was so lost in my own world that I didn't really take too much notice. I was jogging endlessly as it seemed. And the rhythm of my own breathing drew me into a lethargic and hypnotic daze signified by my gradual nodding.

I gazed in amazement at a new type of vandalism called Graffiti. I remember this alley alright, this the place I found him crying, holding the hand of someone, I've seen before. I remember the look on his face, an esoteric mix of hatred, guilt, and sorrow, mostly sorrow. Blood stained his shirt as I knew part of him had left with her dead spirit. I didn't really know who she was, but she sure meant a lot to him. She was his inspiration, I believe. It's not surprising when you look at his art, especially after her death.

This was his masterpiece, somewhere around 13 by 13 feet. It portrayed an open grassy field with but a few trees. The sun shined in the upper-right corner and painted the sky before it a gold shine. Simple yes, but beautiful nonetheless, but not so much now,huh? In the corner was the signature, by now it has faded; no one could really read it, but I remember the words: 'Black Cat'. The words "The Golden Dawn" were inscribed off the side as well.

Coincidentally, The sun was creeping up the sky and I want nothing more than to just run in and be swallowed up by the beautiful, yet enigmatic display of watercolors that was painted there before me. I knew never to look at the sun directly, but I couldn't help my self.

(Maybe he saw a similar event when he made Gold Dawn).

...

Perhaps I was sleep running, or something. I ended up near Two-Bit's neighborhood and I swear I could've seen him drive by me with a blonde sitting beside him. I couldn't distinguish their facial expressions, they were too far off to really tell. That or maybe my eyesight was worsening. (Oh why do sunsets have to be so pretty?)

Other than Two-Bit's place, I also passed Jay's place; I personally tried to avoid Steve's neighborhood.

For more reasons than one, this was not the first time I left the house just to run early in the morning. Once I passed by Steve's house and I heard a pretty nasty argument between Steve and his dad. That and there were a couple of people living near Steve's and Two-Bit's places that I had no intention of seeing any time soon, especially not now.

I went to stop at a DX, there emanated the dense scent of gasoline, being around cars so much (or more like being around people who love cars so much), you're around the smell a lot, and eventually, you learn to love it. This DX was not the one Soda and Steve worked in, it was another located at another side of town. Man I didn't think it would be open this early, (graveyard shift must really suck!) I pulled out a buck and got me a Pepsi. I don't know why I can't, err - don't eat so much when I could drink sodas for an eternity. Within three seconds, I was finished with the 1 liter glass bottle; I could chug a Pepsi faster than anyone I know, except maybe Soda.

I threw it into recycling bin. The dang thing was nearly empty, Greasers were never ones to care about the world as a whole; there were a couple of plastic bottles lying on the ground near the garbage, they obviously missed their target. Well I seriously had nothing better to do, I picked up a couple of them and put it in the recycling bin; I left soon after.

From then I resumed running and let my body take over while I sorted out my thoughts.

* * *

School's gonna start soon so I began walking home, I hadn't realized how far I wandered off. Dang, I should've started sooner.

But now I felt a whole lot better, since that I've stopped smoking, I still needed some way to blow off steam, and right then, books and sleep just couldn't cut it.

I was getting kinda nervous, I went real far, further than I've ever really gone before. (Unless you count when me and Johnny ran away to Windrixville). To make matters worse, I'm alone - no one I knew was nearby. I was still in Greaser territory, I could tell from the neighbor hood's condition. But when I took a town map, the shortest way back home was through a couple of Soc neighborhoods.

I was unsure of how to get through - running would attract a bit more attention while allowing me to leave here as soon as possible. Walking gave the Socs more time to notice me but it also showed that I have no fear, a statement like, _Yeah, I'm in Soc territory, so what?_. And that was usually enough to scare them off. Most Socs aren't so great at fighting, they have strength in numbers, and that's pretty much. Greasers making fighting a life style, if you aren't good and you're a Greaser, then you'd better **get **good. Most of us Greasers could take on a one or two of Socs by ourselves. But in any case, being in uncharted, enemy territory is never a good idea.

It may have been a stupid choice, but I settled for walking through the classic, Greasy way: Head dark and low, a very slightly hunched back, and thumbs in my pockets.

Needless to say, there aren't a whole lot of people out on the streets at six in the morning. But I still passed a couple, apparently some Socs go to their cars and just drive. It seemed stupid to me, they're just wasting gasoline; if Darry ever caught me doing that... But who knows, it might be to blow off steam like me and walking - or it's just to show off their tuff cars. I had a sinking feeling it was the latter. It was their own fault that so many of their cars get busted up. But hey, more money for Steve and Soda, right?

I was pretty close to getting outta here but I spotted a blue car headed towards me, a Corvair maybe, I'm into cars like Soda is. But he told me that I will eventually, that and girls.

"Hey grease," a boy with blond hair and green eyes stepped out of the Corvair, there were three more still in it. My stance showed no signs of changing, it wasn't like I was really surprised, or anything."It was you wasn't it?" His voice was shaking and his eyes couldn't hide the look of desperation. _Just great_, I thought, _he's drunk._

I glared at him with a puzzled expression (_Oh w__hat does **he **want?_)

"You're the reason why my girlfriend's gone all the time, aren't you?"

"What?" I asked incredulously and aggravated.

"You can't fool me you filthy Grease, I see you and her talking in school," he was swaying slightly from side to side.

(_...I don't really talk to any Socs at school.._.)

"Her friend even said that she went to the park one day just to see you."

That statement kinda gave it away. (_Oh it better not be who I think it is._) It was, I can tell.

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't know who your girlfriend is," this time it was his turn to glare. I kept my composure intact. They were sizing me up, we all knew what was gonna happen. I was fully cognizant of the juncture; there was absolutely no escape from it, no matter what I'd do. So I signed plaintively and accepted it, my fate, that is.

My face formed a unreal grin and I cocked an eyebrow much like Two-Bit's. "But _damn_, how desperate was she when she chose _you _to be her boyfriend?"

XX

I put up a good fight, I would've easily beat one or two of them on the account of them being drunk. But you know the score, Socs can't be alone, ever. A lone Soc is like a dead one, unlike us Greasers. Most of us didn't really mind it so much, some of us made the point that being alone was a way to live. _Tim Shephard...Dally... _But we're still human - I think.

But it didn't take too long before I was restrained on the ground, they had their knees to hold my arm, and the others held down my legs. The blond one was pretty much giving my a full on beat-down.

Oh, c'mon, I didn't bring any weapons with me, I'm not that kind of person y'know?

I think that my left cheek was badly bruised, I probably had a black eye by now. I was slugged in the chest at least 10 times, by then I was hollering out the top of my lungs. The fact that I was already tired from running didn't help, one of them tried to place like a big handkerchief over my head and smother me underneath it. It bit it and broke it from his grip and spat it out. By now I couldn't really feel his hits much, but my lungs were burning up. I kept yelling knowing full well that doing so was as good as useless.

I yelled out for Darry, Soda, for anybody really. Though not in the same inflection that I had done so just a few months ago, in a similar situation, if I recall correctly. Now that I think about it, I must've sounded like a psychopathic murderer hollering on the names of those I'm actually out to get. I didn't see anybody pass by, even if they did, they probably wouldn't have helped anyway with the words (_just walk away, just walk away_) being replayed in their heads in an endless juncture.

...

"Scott!" A voice cried out, it belonged to a girl. It was a familiar voice, but I've never heard it in _that _tone before.

Two figures came up towards me. I couldn't see anything though, I felt dizzy and really want to fall asleep.

"Scott, stop this right now!" The Socs, as if by magic, got off me. Three of them walked away slowly, but after reaching a distance of like 20 feet away from us, sprinted away. The other kid, the blond one, stayed behind and was talking to the girl.

The two were arguing and I tried to make out what they were saying, but utterly failed.

"I don't ever want to see you again!" the girl screamed almost yelping the words out her mouth. If this girl was indeed his girlfriend, then for some unfathomable reason, she cared about the guy a whole lot.

"But..." she turned around and slapped away his extending hand.

The boy walked away leaving me with the girl and another guy. My vision was failing me, as of now, I could only make out the shape of the two.

I was as good as dead to the world, my head was spinning and I couldn't get a clear thought through my head. I was about to lose consciousness and the girl knew it.

"Hey, bring him to the car." the other turned at her, "why should I help him?"

"_Because you're my brother,_" it seemed like that was an answer that she could use to get the guy to do whatever she wanted.

...

* * *

I awakened in a bed and I was in a house that wasn't mine. Well I didn't really wake up yet, I could barely move, my head and chest ached like hell, and I could still barely see. I knew it wasn't my house because just by looking, the room I was in was at least twice as big as any of the rooms at our place. That and it didn't reek of stale tobacco or dirty clothes; it smelled _way _too nice to be my place.

I heard a voice that belonged to a girl, "...Yeah...He's in my house now...Please, I'm not lying...I haven't done anything to him but he's in pretty bad shape...Okay...Thank you." If I had to guess, she was on the phone. But with who? I have a pretty good idea.

In a few minutes, my head was feeling a whole lot better and I could see again. The room still felt like it was spinning but I managed to stand up.

At the sight of me standing up, she ran to me and we hugged.

"Thank God you're okay, I was so worried," her voice came with genuine concern. Her body was warm, her skin was soft and delicate. I knew who it for quite a while now, again I wasn't sure to whether to be happy or not - least of all, surprised.

It was Cherry.

Obviously the blond guy from before is - or was - her boyfriend. But now, I had no recollection of his face, even so, I'd be able to recognize him if I ever saw him again.

(_Dammit Cherry, why can't you fall for a nice guy for once!_) I wanted to say so badly but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Besides, I don't think I've ever cussed in front of a girl before. Well, not to a nice girl at least.

"What happened, Cherry?" I tried to add _some _feeling to it, but my voice only came out prosaic and vapid. I could remember but I really wanted someone or something to reaffirm my memories, I especially wanted to hear it from her.

Her smile melted away and our arms untangled. Her eyes welled up and glistened with guilt. She looked away searching for the right set of words to say, "Umm...you got beat up by a couple of guys." She replied plaintively.

(_Yeah, no duh._)

"But I broke up the fight and brought you here," she looked at me and came closer as if pleading for me to believe her. Oh I believe her alright, but I noticed she left out some very specific details. Though at the moment I didn't really care so much.

There was a long silence after those words were said, neither of us really wanting to say sorry first, of course I was the one to start.

"Look Cherry, I'm sorry if I was being a jerk to you, I-" She cut me off, her face was grim and dark.

"_Your _sorry? _I'm_ sorry Ponyboy." She looked back again trying to mask her face with her hair there to help.

The first thoughts that ran in my mind were (_Oh hell you **should **be!_)

"First Bob, then Dylan, and _now _Scott!" A tear ran down the side of her cheek.

I stood petrified with an expressionless face.

"I'm serious Ponyboy, getting me involved with your life will only things worse for you."

"And you don't deserve that from me." Cherry was right after all that's happened, _what **has **she done for me? Be a **friend**? And that's worked out **just ****fine**, hasn't it? After all, she's done a great job, right? ...When all is said and done, she's really only made me miserable._

Cherry was shaking slightly.

...

She continued trying real hard not to bawl. "...My friends, the things I said...I'm sorry. I should've done something about it."

I felt bad for her, although the thoughts in my head told me otherwise, (_Yeah you **should **have! Are we **friends **or not!_) The conflicting thoughts put a strain on my headache.

My mind trailed off for a while...I sighed - (but Cherry is Cherry) I thought. (She's a girl, a friend too). I thought completely devoid of doubt.

I had about enough of that, I couldn't stand to see a girl cry, _especially _not a nice one. I firmly grabbed she shoulders and turned her around to face me. I looked at her endearingly, my eyes met with hers with purpose of calming her down.

"You dig okay, Cherry." My grin reassured her, she couldn't help but smile back at me.

Cherry was pretty high up in the Social ladder, her family is rich, she's pretty and nice. She had respect and pride. In that sense, Greasers and Socs weren't so different, they both thrived on those two things. Sure we had different ways of obtaining them, but pride is still pride, and respect is still respect. _They _were the reasons why she acted the way she did in school, they _had _to be. She's afraid to lose them.

I remembered what I said to her a long time ago. (You're a traitor to your own kind and not loyal to us). She knew that by supporting us publicly, she'd lose them. But even if she did, the Greasers would still _never _accept her, regardless. (It makes since - I guess)

I forgive her anyway: even though she didn't need it, even though I _know _she could live without it. But I didn't, she'd lose another thing that we all wanted and needed. By the way she described most Socs, I could tell she didn't have a lot of those things. She'd miss out on a great friendship, a **real **one, that is. Who knows? She probably has a lot of _friends _out there but, she probably really didn't care for them that much. The kind of _friend _that if they died now, she'd be sad now but in like a week, she'll be like _who_? That kind of friend.

A **real** friend, one that sticks by you not because they have something to gain, that is, other than a friend. They want to be your friend just for the sake of being friends; to have a tie that's not so easily splintered and broken; one that truly shines when _they're _needed most. That kind.

Now that I think about it, not a lot of people really had that much _friends_, especially not a lot of Greasers. I remember Darry and Soda had been real popular when they were in school. I remember them having loads and loads of _friends_, or popularity, a trait that I never had. (And quite frankly, I'm glad about that). But they were just people who were there friends to gain something from them; the idea that '_If you know somebody popular, then you are too!_' was far from uncommon, even so then. Darry caught on so he avoiding getting close to really anybody, but Soda not so much. In fact, I know he's had to pay for not realizing it sooner. (_They were **no **friends of theirs', my brothers'.)_

So looking at Soda, Two-Bit, and Darry (_maybe _Steve), _I _have real friends, no rather, a _real **family**__._

_...I must be real lucky, huh?_

_...But then, why don't I feel like it?_

My thoughts trailed out...

I saw Cherry's smile lead into a giggle, and I returned it with an even great smile. (So that's how that feels like), I mused about Soda and how he makes girls giggle like that.

She embraced me a little tighter.

"Thanks Ponyboy."

_Man could her eyes shine._

* * *

I heard a car honk and headed towards the door. I saw not too far away, my two brothers! At the sight of them my eyes began to well up, but remembered I where I was. And that I was in a Soc neighborhood and that Steve and Two-Bit were there. All traces of tears disintegrated instantly. I walked over to the car, without so much as wincing for a moment.

I figured out why Cherry didn't just drive me home, all kinds of crazy rumors would've surfaced if someone saw me getting driven home by a Soc girl, me being beaten up doesn't help at all. By leaving me here to rest, she could wait and see it I was okay. Not to mention, I basically refused every other opportunity she had to talk with me before. By now, most people in High School are already there, no one would really see me leave her house. Cherry was gonna be late for school, but she's a Soc so it hardly mattered. I'm not being prejudiced here, that much I _know _is true.

There was no way in hell that I would be going to school today, not in this condition: I knew it, she knew it, and they knew it.

They looked unto me with an awkward mix of unlike expressions. Darry with a strange mix of incredulous enmity but with undying anguish. Two-Bit snickering at something (I had that one coming), and of course Steve with his usual acrimony. Soda came with elated relief that was not so well hidden. (Does this mean he forgives me already?)

I sat beside Soda and he placed his arm over my shoulder. For the moment, we just sat still, nonchalant. As we left the Soc neighborhood, all eyes and the attention that they accompanied gravitated towards me, shaking my composure.

My head was hurting real bad.

_Oh, this is gonna be a **LONG **ride home._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

The story will not revolve around Cherry so much, but there will be someone else who will be a little more important.


	4. Chapter 4 : Stand By Me

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Four:**

**Stand By Me**

**XXXX**

I saw Pony get outta the house, I wanted to tell him to get his butt back here but I knew in the end, it'd be better for him it he leave now.

A list of worst case scenarios played out in my head...As much as I wanted to go after him, I knew he'd resent me if I did. Normally I'll take his resentment over his safety any day, but something's happened a little while back, not just one thing, a whole helluva lot of shit. I know its my own fault about not knowing, I've been too busy and I've missed out on a lot of their lives...Just way too much if you ask me.

Though I'll admit that the rumble we had before did have some short-term benefits for us. But in the long run, nothing's really changed: Socs jump Greasers, and they retaliate. The simple process repeats until the tension escalates into an all-out war. When one is determined the victor, things usually calm down quite a bit, but only for just a little while. It was a deadly, never-ending cycle, but that was just the way things were around here. I can hardly imagine how some people would react if all the fighting just stopped. I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

There was one day, Soda and Ponyboy said they ran into a couple of Socs. They both looked pretty busted up, but nothing that a couple days of rest couldn't heal. Even though I seriously doubted it, I was aware that they really needed me to believe that. So I played along. What really shocked me was:_ Ponyboy moved back into his old room. _And since then, neither of the two had ever been the same, Pony had already been acting out but Soda...Damn that was a dumb move, I can't believe he did all that, I did ask why he left just like that but he never gave me an answer. _What the hell happened?_

Man I don't know what it is, neither of them are willing to tell me and they don't seem to want to work it out. It was like they were just coming and going in our house, walking around like in a trance, almost. They seemed like Tim Shepard when he came to our house, not saying a word to anyone about anything, but just there, drifting lazily through their still very young lives. The house was like a graveyard, dark, quiet, a bit dirty I'll admit, but also lonely. When we're all in the kitchen, little to no words will be spoken, if there are then I'm usually the one who starts the talking. If that's not a sign of trouble, then I don't know what is.

I don't know why, but I never fully confronted the situation with either of them. I wish I had. And then...Maybe then things would be different.

I remember Ponyboy used to hang out with a friend for a while. What was his name? _Trae,_ I think. From what I could tell, he was a good kid, smart too, but a little bit quiet. He had cool gray eyes that gave him a look like he was always in deep thought. It's no wonder why they were friends, they were so much alike. I liked Pony's friend, he didn't complain and rarely asked questions. Though, he had this shifty feeling that was always lingering about him, kinda like Dally's when we still didn't know him so much. I remember that he and Pony would go out to watch movies or to the bookstore. They both loved art, poetry, and the same kinds of music. But Trae did refuse to smoke, and they didn't share the same look in their eyes.

If Trae was still around, then their eyes would match almost perfectly. The color wasn't too far of in the first place but what I mean is how they _looked_. They were both cold and uninviting, Pony's were different then. They both showed little to no hope in humanity, a deep-seated hatred for just about anything and anyone you couldn't call a friend. The eyes told me that there was at least one or two things they'd live for; it was that reason they'd defend their lives for. I hope that didn't cause repercussions for either of them... And Pony had better choose wisely what he believes in. I'm gonna have a serious talk with him, no doubt.

I never saw him until about two months after the rumble. Maybe he was new in town. They got real close, that much I know. But after a while - not too long, in fact - I didn't see him anymore, it's he's gone or something else had happened.

If I had to guess; the day Ponyboy got to really acting out was when he got home beaten. There were some bad scars on his face, similar to the time he got jumped when he went to the movies way back then. (This was quite a while before he moved out of Soda's room.) Steve was the one who brought him home, which was odd enough. When I got home, the kid had been unconscious for quite some time, I dunno how long. And I don't think Soda was around at the moment for whatever reason. After he woke up, Ponyboy had this expression on his face, it was a new one, albeit similar to the one he had on when Dally died - very similar if I remember correctly. His friend stopped showing up then.

...

Now about what happened last night? I don't even know. I riles me up; not knowing what their up to and what's going on with their lives. Dammit!

**_I'm still their brother, right?_**

XX

_I opened the door to the house, it made a shrill shrieking noise that reverberated in my near empty home. Now I really feel bad about hitting Pony that one day, now I know how it feels to just be so tired and doze off; for me it was on a park bench. I was going to be home by like 7 : 00, because I fell asleep, I woke up about 10 : 00 P.M. I looked in the kitchen and saw that the sink was empty and dry. In the fridge, all the Pepsi's were still there..._

_(Oh Ponyboy...) To be honest, I didn't know what to expect, especially from Ponyboy nowadays. When you have to be a guardian to your brothers, you learn to recognize red flags, and when a day goes by without a Pepsi being drunk by either Pony or Soda, then that there's a problem._

_I walked to Ponyboy's room and to my heart's discontent, he wasn't there. I rushed to Soda's room hoping to God that neither of them were gone. When I opened the door and looked inside, I froze up. My immediate fears and worries were gone, but a whole new set of them had just surfaced. I felt a cold wave pass by me from behind and hit me in the spine. I quivered internally but did not do the same with my body._

_I saw Ponyboy there, his body was facing away from me, almost curled up in a ball. I could hear his heavy and fluctuating breathing patterns. I knew he was sleeping._

_There sitting beside him, was his other big brother. He was sobbing and his eyes were scarlet, he looked real bad. For I don't know how long - a second? A Minute? An Hour? I stood still at the door with out so much as moving an inch. __The cold, bitter silence crept it's way back into the house. I wanted it out, now. But right now, it was best not to say anything._

_Soda shivered as his unsteady breathing somehow became synchronized with Pony's. Ponyboy was crying too._

_..._

_"Hey Soda..." I finally said, his eyes slowly shifted their attention to me. It was almost as if he had just noticed me._

_"It's getting late, you should get some sleep," silently he agreed and he set himself beside my youngest brother. __I closed the door slowly, still unsure of the predicament placed before me._

_From here on, you can't really expect anything. The situation has become so fragile that even the slightest incident could prove itself irreversible repercussions. I figured I'll let them sort it out by themselves. Some things will just heal on their own, or over time. With no interferences, I'll just let it go by and see what happens. In most situations, I wouldn't be doing that, but this is different, **they** are different now. I just don't know what's going on, all I can do now is wait...I've found out that that is sometimes the best option in a situation this._

_I decided to stay up all night, not exactly the greatest idea, I know. But now there are some things more important than working._

I remember him leaving Soda's room and ran out the door...I let him go...

(Oh Ponyboy...) My heart plead so loudly I swear I was actually saying it. _Be smart, dammit. Be smart... _I pleaded out.

**(_Don't make regret this_.)**

XXX

I slept like a baby that morning. For the first time in a long time, my nightmares have vanished and my back didn't hurt like it had for so many weeks. Even though I had like six hours of sleep, I felt newly refreshed for some reason. Well except for my eyes, they were in pain - but not in the least bit tired: my pillow was real soggy.

My arm still stretched out to the right of me - I began to panic but I quickly calmed myself down. In search of him, I left my room only in my sweats. Yeah, it was real cold, but I could feel myself burning up. _He's not here._ I shuddered as the words echoed in my head. He must've left to like jog like he sometimes did in the morning. I wanted to go out there, **real **badly, but I have no way of knowing where's gone off to.

_(Oh why Ponyboy!) _ The words were screaming in my head. (_Couldn't you at least tell us where your headed off to?_)

I went back to the living room and sat on one of the sofas, literally worried sick. I felt my headache come back, and I even though I was starving to death, I didn't want to eat. I just didn't feel like.

(_Okay, j__ust relax.) _My thought was directed only to myself.

(_It's that kind of thinking that's what got him mad at you in the first place, remember? Pony can handle things on his own, he's a tough little kid, I know. And that's what he's been trying to tell us all, but none of us except maybe Two-Bit really got message.) _I let out a deep breath and my face sank. I tried to believe that, i really did, but that wasn't going to stop me from worrying - nothing would. After all, er - anything could happen to him.

I heard Darry walk to the kitchen, he didn't see to notice my presence at first. He looked even worse than I'd imagine me. He probably tried stayed up all night, worrying about us two. Pony probably sneaked off while Darry had eventually dozed off or something.

"Hey Soda." I was idly playing with a crumpled up piece of paper and then my eyes deviated towards my big brother, it had be plainly obvious to me that Darry could sense my emotions, Pony too, even Steve. I didn't like that so much because even though I've always made the greatest effort to try and understand, I was never quite sure about them, really, especially not with Darry and with Pony (_now, not so much before_). But I don't think anyone could _read _Darry like that.

I always wondered just how he got to the way he is. But I'm thankful for that, for whatever reason it is. Darry just wouldn't be Darry if he didn't act the way he did all the time, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"What 'cha doin' kiddo?" For a moment, I was completely unresponsive.

_What **was **I doing?_

"Uh, I don't know," I managed to utter. My voice was weak and a bit shaken.

Darry glanced at the clock, "It's about 5 : 30 so I'll make eggs, okay?"

"Sure..." I sighed heavily.

"Yah want your's with jam?"

"Don't I always?" I knew what Darry was trying to do and silently I thanked him for it.

XX

The door opened abruptly and was slammed shut.

"Good morning Curtis'!" A cheery, probably drunk, voice hollered out.

It was Two-Bit, of course, nonchalantly sauntering in the house.

"Hey Soda..." Two-Bit was telling me as he jumped into another of our Sofas.

"Pass me the remote, will ya?" I threw the remote at him. He caught it without so much as looking and immediately turning on the TV to one of his soap operas. It was kinda hard to tell when Two-Bit was drunk, he is exceptionally coordinated when he is.

_It must be by experience, hell I bet he drives even **better** when he's drunk. _I mused at the though, Two-Bit could get anyone to laugh if he set his mind to it.

The show was about two girls fighting over a guy, which eventually and inevitably lead into a cat fight. Y'know, all that usual shit on T.V. I looked at him; he was grinning so big that I grinned too. Pony always told me that me and Two-Bit were similar in the sense that we could both do that.

_I don't get it, why does he like this stuff? _I never took Two-Bit to be one who would like stuff like this. Y'know, sappy, romantic, and all that junk.

My only guess is that he likes all the blond chicks that they always show, and I know he likes them cat fights. I didn't really like them too much because I never liked seeing two girls fight, but they were nothing new to me. I've seen a lot of girls fight when I was in school and at DX, usually over the same guy over and over - me.

"Why are they called soap operas?" My innocence was showing, Two-Bit just sneered in response.

"Why? 'Cuz ain't nobody singin' and you _know _it's gotta be dirty!" He started cackling loudly.

_Yep he's still drunk_. I smiled inwardly. _It felt good knowing somethings never change._

"Hey Two-Bit, no witches in the house, man!"

XX

The sweet scent of cooked eggs permeated the room - I got up and trudged to the kitchen as if by command. I grabbed me a jar of jelly and got a cup of cold chocolate milk.

*Thud*

We heard a loud banging on the door.

*Thud*

There was another, though I didn't bother getting up. I know I should be more worried when I hear a large bang on the door, but right now, I just didn't care so much. It hurt too much to care, dammit.

"Did you lock the door?" Darry hollered out to no one in particular. "Yep, sorry man." He wasn't really sorry, that was plainly obvious to all us.

Steve busted open the door and came marching down into our home.

"You have a key, Steve?" I didn't really care so much.

"Heheh, no but he's got a foot!" Two-Bit cracked up, reaffirming whether he was drunk or not. Steve didn't find it so funny.

"Glory Steve, if I find out that door's broken, you gonna be paying for it, y'hear?" Darry didn't really mean that sentence; he'd pay for it but not without teaching Steve a lesson. Steve's unprecedented glare shifted from Two-Bit to Darry as did the general attention.

"Okay fine, whatever." His voice was edged with seriousness and irritation, we were all listening.

"Jus' someone tell me why I saw Ponyboy riding off somewhere with a Soc girl!"

_**"HE WHAT!"**_

XXX

_"Dammit, I told you never to smoke here!" __I walked toward the door and buttoned up my DX shirt. I kept blowing paying no attention to his command. _

_"Listen to me when I'm fuckin' talking to you!" __My still stance stayed put but my thoughts w__ere racing. (Alright **Larry**, I'll play your little game.)_

_"And why the hell should I?" I made the perfect smoke ring._

_"'Cause this is my house and I'm in control!" __(Are you fuckin' serious?)_

_"In control?" I thought out loud hysterically. And my voice, though quiet, was deeply stained with sheer hatred and disbelief._

_"And you call sittin' around the house and getting drunk all the time, **IN CONTROL**?" I felt my right eye start to twitch and my right hand as starting to tremble. In order to keep it under control, I balled up my fist as tight I could, if I hadn't then maybe Larry wouldn't still be conscious._

_"Dammit Larry, get a fuckin' job!"_

_I tried to calm down, but I kept at my glare. He returned it with matching indignation._

_(Huh?) In the corner of my eye, I saw a kid out my window. He was running away from the neighborhood at the closer edge. It was a small kid, probably around 14, with long hair and he was wearing a blue sweatshirt. Other than that, I couldn't really make out anything else._

_(Ponyboy?) Oh who else could it be, really? (What the fuck is he doing running around the streets at this hour? And only in a sweatshirt too? Dammit, why doesn't that kid ever use that big head of his? Where the hell is Soda? Or Darry? Do they know about this? Ugh...)_

_At this point I completely forgot about the old man. I turned around and opened the door._

_"And where the hell do you think **you're **going?_

_(...Oh yeah...) I growled intensely on the inside. I swear if I had gotten any angrier then I would've blow a gasket. But instead, I merely shook off my anger and somehow kept at my composure. I slowly turned with a distinct and wry frown. I looked unto my father now with unparalleled indignation._

_"Well wouldn't **you** like to know." My voice was low but grave. _

_(As if you ever cared). He turned a down quite a few shades of white and he was speechless at this point._

_(Checkmate.)_

_I left the house and entered my car._

_(Now where the hell did that kid run off to?)_

_XXX_

We drove up the unfamiliar road and saw Pony leave a house. And glory was it a big house. There must've been like 12 rooms, or something like that. We could see that the house was obviously well maintained, no holes off to the side, a perfect and stainless coat of white paint (that stank, even from here), and even a purely green lawn (it also reeked but with the intense odor of freshly cut off lawn grass - Man? How do Socs stand that shit?)

I noticed that the this lawn, or any other lawn around here had no flowers. Wonder why. Although I did see a just few red roses being grown but that was it.

I took another long gaze at the house itself. (Hmm..) I thought with a devious grin.

(Maybe I should visit here one day during school.) I mused as I wondered about all the glorious treasure beheld in the aforementioned building (oh uh, did I say that right?)

Man did that kid look messed up. Behind him was a pretty red-head, a Soc girl no doubt. I remember her alright, she's the one that was with that cute girl, Marcia? Yeah, that one. The one we met when we were at the movies way back when. Cherry, was it?

Hah, that reminded my of when I scared the living daylights of ol' Johnnycake. Now that I think about it, it made me sad that that was one of the last memories he'd have of me. (Damn I wish I visited him more before he died, if only Dally didn't go off an' tell everybody that they were out an' tryin' to escape into Mexico. I got into some trouble trying to find them over there, heheh, snagged me a couple bucks getting some guys passed over the border. If I remember correctly, when I came back, I was so happy to find out they were all okay - 'er well alive, that I went to an all-out beer fest. Yeah, not the brightest of my ideas, but oh well.

Man I remember that bitch-of-a-mom Johnny had, who could put up someone like her? I'm glad she left Tulsa, I don't know where, but I really don't care, who would. I know Johnny wouldn't, or at least _shouldn't_.)

The noticed little red-head had a curious look in her eyes, Pony too. Pony looked a helluva lot different than the last time I saw the guy. Well, at least the long on his face, that is. If I remember correctly; not too long ago, the kid transformed into a sullen creature with an undying hatred of everyone and just about everything. Somewhat like a certain somebody else I remember...

(Dang Pony, what've you been doin' man!)

I saw that face of his begin to red as he slowly quickened his pace towards our car. I grinned internally. (It's nice to know that no matter how tuff or (more appropriately) _tough _this kid gets, we can still embarrass him like we used to.) That was a good sign. Just like when Johnny was still around, getting him to just talk told us we were doin' something right.

But despite my otherwise conflicting thoughts; all of us kept looking real tuff the Greasy way: cold, emotionless face, hands in our jeans pockets, accompanied by a dangerous-lookin' slouch (if that makes any sense to you.) For at least until we left the neighborhood.

Man for the longest time, I really wanted the gang to be all back together again, but I sure didn't expect it to be like this.

...

Soda's arm was over Pony's shoulders and he leaned ever so slightly towards his big brother.

(_Hm...Did they make up? Oh thank God. I couldn't stand the thought of them being so cold to each other. I don't know why, it just didn't feel natural. These two are list two best brothers in the world and to see them fight like that...Well damn, if I though it was bad for me, then how did they take it all? Especially Soda, but right now Pony seemed like needed all of us right now. For no reason except to just be with us. _

_I felt a whole lot better seeing them next to each other. I know they bluffed their fight to Darry, but I know this wasn't a trick at all. From the look on their faces, they really needed each other, Darry did too._)

For a while, everyone sat still; I was the first to make a move, with a wide-eyed grin, I leaned toward him.

"Hey Pony, what the hell were you doing with that **girl**," his face turned red like a tomato.

"Yeah, Pony...What the **hell** were you doing with that girl." Darry's tone was dynamically opposite from mine.

"And what the hell happened to you?" He looked around confused as if he had forgotten how got all them bruises on his face.

"Pony..." Soda placed a hand on his baby brother's cheek. Magically, a red splotchy stain appeared on his fingers. "You're bleeding," he looked real worried, but Pony seemed like he didn't know why.

"Umm..." Man was his voice different from before, it was deeper, more so than Soda's, but not like Darry's. It was also weak from exhaustion, no doubt. I swear the kid looked like he could pass out at any moment. Looked away from us as he fished for the words to say.

"I ran into a couple of Socs-"

He was interrupted by a unified and astonished, "_You got jumped_?" And now all but two eyes were all on him.

XXX

They kept asking me all these questions.

_Who the hell were they?  
__Do you know them?  
__Do they know you?  
Their names?  
__What'd they look like?  
What does that Soc girl have to do with anything?  
__Who the hell is she anyway?_

There were a bunch more and I answered them for the most part, but I really didn't want to.

Darry said Two-Bit and Steve should go on to high school, and me and my brothers went back into our, Darry's house.

Throughout the drive home, after Soda's comment on me bleeding, he kept a stoic demeanor; Darry too. I trudge slowly in, not only because my body was aching like hell. I knew what was coming, I'm so sure of it.

_Great, I wonder what Darry's got to say to me. And Soda, I'll bet money that Soda's pissed off fer' just leaving like that. Ohh..._my stomach began to ache as well.

They both looked at me with matching gazes, but I couldn't read it. It felt intensely unnerving and I wouldn't be able to take it for much longer - especially not from them.

...

Their response was much different than I expected.

As soon as they closed the door, I was quickly uplifted up from the ground and tightly embraced by the both of them.

_"Oh Hell, Ponyboy, I thought I told you never to go off like that again!"_

_"You had us worried something fierce! You coulda gotten real hurt, y'know?"_

_"We thought we'd lost you, man."_

_"Please, Ponyboy, I'm sorry for not trusting in you - not believing you."_

_"Dammit, don't you ever do that again."_

...

_(...Darry? ...Soda?) _My thoughts were weak.

They kept at it...I wanted them to stop.

I was speechless, no dumbfounded, here I am thinking they were gonna whip for sure but instead this happens_. Wait why the hell did I think that in the first place, anyway?_

..._I don't believe it, have I been wrong this whole time? Weren't **they** mad at me? But they thought otherwise. Have I misread them? And this badly too?_

I didn't feel so hot right now...But it was so good to be back with my brothers. I could feel their heart beat through there shirts much like the last time I was gone. Back then I was physically gone, this time wasn't. But this time I was gone for a much longer time. And even though I was staggering immensly by now, they gave me consolation. The kind of feeling that only family could give, _I guess I really am lucky, huh? _ I thought back at Johnny, he didn't have a real family. But he didn't need one, he was probably better off without his folks anyway, he had us. He always will.

Out of any of the gang, we were the one and only _true _family left.

_Have we really drifted **this** much?_

I felt like clutching my chest - I shuddered. I wanted to let go of my brothers' tight embrace, but my body wouldn't listen to me. _Why don't I **ever** listen to me?_

I gazed at my brothers' faces, they were still sobbing and their eyes were shut real tight by now, still mumbling under their breaths.

**_No_**_...this isn't right. They shouldn't be sorry for anything, **I **should be. I'm the one's become a real hood, not in the good way! They didn't do any of that stupid shit I did. And I was the one who was pushing them away, not vice versa. Why should I have? I forget. I mean, they are the only family I've got and if something happen to either of them...I don't know what I'd do without them. I don't ever want to lose them..._

_I guess that's what they saw in me, they were both losing me like we lost Mom and Dad, Johnny and Dally...I was losing me._

"No!" Somehow they instantly stopped, they both looked at me in confusion.

"Why the hell should you be sorry, it's not your fault..." I trembled fiercely as I fought hard to keep my composure, and man was I losing badly. I felt the floodgates of my mind break and hot tears ran down my cheeks.

_(...Darry ...Soda... I was the one who made Soda go down. Dammit I wish I never said what I did. I didn't mean them, I think. Well I don't now. I know Darry just hollers at me because he cares. He has every right to, anyway.__ I wasn't being myself, I wasn't using my head at all, was I? _

"None of it!" I felt like my brain and heart were pulsing and ached like a bomb was dropped on the inside of me. The pain was immense, though it was not at all physical, I was so shaken down - I was gonna blackout soon. I saw Soda and Darry give me looks of concern as they noticed me clinging to my consciousness. I imagined their eyes flare up from the way they were shaking me, but my vision was so blurred I couldn't see. I drifted lazily and fell into an unconscious state.

...

The words, _"Pony...Pony!" _were the last ones I heard.

XX

From then on, I kept my promise to Soda and Darry. I tried to, at least. I got my grades back together, A's and B's, I go out a bit more. I try smile more often and made some new _friends_. I tried reading and drawing some, though I'd still never show anyone except maybe Soda. I eat more than just once a day, and I got out jogging for sometime, but never too far off the neighborhood. I eventually got back into the track team.

But there was a problem still.

_(Who am I now? Who was I before?)_ I don't know how to be like that person anymore because he's dead, long dead now. I wasn't like me: he smoked; had shining eyes; radiating innocence, and we just didn't look the same. My hair was long but I still had it bleached, or how I'd call, stained. And my voice was different now; I've gotten even smaller since then; but mostly, we didn't have the same beliefs. The faith and hope in humanity, it has long since died. And maybe most importantly, he had a family, one he could always count on - I have that too. But he had a family that could trust in him, I don't, or shouldn't.

_So he's gone now, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try, it's the least I could do for them. You guys deserved better from me._

_I won't disappoint you again, Soda, you and Darry both. I promise._

**XXXX**

Author's Note:

Whew! God that was **HARD**! If you hadn't noticed, this was a bit more detailed than before since I updated this chapter.

Yeah, so the ending is similar to that of chapter two, I made sure of that. Yes, I successfully made this chapter have the POV of every main character of the story! Yay for me. Hah, Two-Bit likes soap operas. And yeah, I named Steve's daddy Larry. I feel bad that their POV's weren't so long, oh well, I guess.

Until next time...

Please review, I want to see what you guys think of it, where you think it's going, stuff like that.

So concludes Arc 1 of _Hereafter_, the next Arcs will be about the past and how it'll come back tumbling down at them - whether or not anyone's truly ready for it. It'll incorporate a few elements from a mystery and suspense type story. There will also be a quite a few OC's then too.


	5. Chapter 5 : New Beginnings

**Hereafter**

**Arc 2: Chapter Five**

**Neo Genesis**

Okay, so perhaps I should explain myself now:

Okay, the new italicized passage was in the original idea but I cut it when I posted chapter one because I was unsure if it were necessary for the story - but now it is.

The reason why I released chapters 3 and 4 at once is that I didn't want too many misinterpretations too early on the story. But there I guess there's a lot of room for that considering the kind of story this is. But I might have that same problem in this chapter too.

Oh and about the whole recycling bin things; I'm not too familiar with the history of Oklahoma but like I said, I'll try to make the story true to the original thing and time appropriate, but don't be too surprised if I don't. I'll keep the event there for the sake of Pony's character.

This is around 2 to 3 months after the last chapter, it's now the 2nd semester of school.

**XXXX**

A few months later...

I woke up again today.

(What is a just a dream or was it a nightmare?)

The side of my bed was empty. (Pony? Where are you, man?) I was still too drowsy to remember much of anything.

When it hit me, I kinda scolded myself. (Oh yeah, he's at his friend's house.) Ponyboy had made quite a few new friends in the last few months. He'd usually go to the movies or to their houses instead of staying here so much. To be honest, it was fine by me; I was still working full time and he'd always come home like 30 minutes after I did. I mean, I'd rather have him with some friends than in the house; alone and bored all the time. At least he's been talking to a couple of girls now; when he visits me at DX, some of the younger girls give him looks too. Some of them even come up to him and talk to him, usually by asking if he was my brother. I remember the first time I saw that happen; he grinned so wide. I know he never thought of us looking alike at all, but they seemed to think differently. So I would have say, yeah he looks like me; we're brothers after all.

And besides, I don't want Darry worrying about _another_ group of people raiding our fridge.

A beam of light blinded me as the door opened. I rustled in my sheets and pulled my pillow above me.

"Hey Soda," Darry's voice was soft but expressionless.

"Where's Pony?"

I wanted to say (_Turn the damn lights off!)_ But with my own exhaustion and the sheets over me, it only came out as an awkward grunt-like sound.

His footsteps got closer to me and my blankets were ripped away from my bed. Since it was getting colder now, and since Darry always kept the temperature low to save money, our house was down right freezing. Me and Dare always liked it cold, but he'd flip if any of us would ever get a cold. Especially Pony, he always liked things warmer. In the winter he'd sometimes sleep with a jacket on. (_How the hell does he stand that?_) I always wondered.

"Darry," wow I sounded so much like a little kid.

When my eyes got a little more used to the light, I said,"ain't he at that one girl's house, Sarah, right?"

(_Oops...Crap)_ If I weren't so out of it right now I would've kept my mouth shut about the whole thing and said some lie about it.

"He's _where_?" my big brother never could hide the frustration he had when Pony's gone missing. Golly, he's missing a lot, now that think about it.

I could feel myself getting a bit red.

"Yeah, Dare. He said he won't miss school though." My voice lacked certainty which scared him something awful.

"Wait, what's he doing at a girl's house, anyway?" Okay now it felt like he was accusing me of something, but I knew he wasn't trying to. I guess now I know Pony feels when Darry hollers at him. Well, at least they don't fight anymore; and they only fuss over things when talking about situations like these when has the right to worry.

"He said he had school project they had to do at her house-"

"And why not here?" Darry cut me off. He seemed like he was panicking, that's not like Darry.

I didn't respond, Darry caught on with his own worries; he was so worried about Pony that he wasn't even thinking straight. Or he was too tired to do so, it was by like 2 in morning. Darry knew who Sarah was, even though she was a Soc, she was a nice girl. She didn't seem to mind being friends with Ponyboy so we didn't mind her either; she never caused any trouble. Darry saw her a couple times at DX when Pony and her would see each other sometimes. We would never let a nice girl like that in our house, not only because we weren't the cleanest bunch, but that we never know what random Grease would be here. I wonder what would happen if Tim Shepard saw Pony bringing a Soc girl to our home. Ever since the rumble and Dally and Johnny's death, Tim held a new found respect for our little buddy. Even though we knew Ponyboy never really like Tim all that much, he did like having his respect.

"Darry it's just a sleepover, that's it." Darry almost looked horrified, he covered it up before I really saw anything.

It's obvious that putting that word; a girl; them being (more or less) alone; and Ponyboy, all in one equation deeply bothered my older brother. And believe it or not, I wasn't too hot about the idea either, but this was Pony we were talking about. He always used his head about girls, that's why he never went after most Greasy girls. They literally had the words '_Trouble'_ written on their faces. And he just didn't find those kind of girls hot. In all honesty, me neither. Not that she's a greasy girl, but Pony wouldn't try anything with her anyway. I'm sure of it.

"C'mon Darry, this is Ponyboy remember. The boy's never got in trouble with girls if remember correctly. I mean he's fourteen and a half and he has barely talked to girls girls at all." Weird, it seemed like the words were just flowing from my mouth.

"If I remember correctly, you started dating girls when you were still thirteen. And kissed at least half a dozen of them before being Pony's age." I looked at him tiredly, he mirrored my action, wordlessly.

Maybe I was a little bit exaggerating, I wasn't too sure about it but I wouldn't be surprised if kissed twice that much at Ponyboy's age. I know I did, not that that's a good thing.

"I'm pretty sure - no certain he's never even kissed a girl, anyways." It felt weird, I was being the reasonable one and Darry the emotional one instead of the other way around.

He reluctantly gave in, but there was one thing left he needed to know.

"Is he alone?"

"Huh?"

"Is he _alone_?" he reiterated but with rising concern.

"No, it's like a group project. Him and I think two other of his friends are there too." Darry silently and reluctantly agreed. He went to the door and said,"good night, Soda."

"Night, Dare."

I tried sleeping but I was too awake now...I don't think I can go back to sleep.

To be honest, I was beginning to have my doubts...

(_No_...Pony's not like that.) I expelled them all out, just for a moment.

(Besides, if he did like her, then he'd tell me, _right_?) ... They're back again.

I guess insomnia really takes a lot outta a guy.

XXX

I heard someone come near the living room. (Finally, you get up, man.) I was way too sleepy right now, with the old man kickin' me out all the time, I don't think Dare appreciates me crashing at their place all the time. I know I wouldn't if I were him.

I yawned, my eyes were better but still foggy,"Hey Soda..."

"I'm not Soda, Steve." (_Huh? Oh shit.)_ I knew that voice, it _wasn't_ Soda's. (_Oh God don't be...)_

It was, of course.

(_Damn that kid._) He had a curious grin on his face. It was really getting on my nerves.

I don't get it, why in the world would I think that _he_ was _Soda_. Soda was a good 4 inches taller, his hair was golden-brown while Ponyboy's was reddish-brown again (he got rid of the bleach). And their eyes were differently colored. They also had a different expression, but that kind of thing wasn't something I really payed attention to. Soda's even bulked ever since that one girl Chelsea, was it? I can't remember, but I was kinda glad I couldn't, she was a bitch anyway. Even though Pony, got to eating more, he's still scrawny. He must be like 90 fuckin' pounds!

I'd hate to admit it, but they _did _look alike. Their face looked a lot alike, girls knew it too. So did the way their hair grew and how they greased it. Great, now I don't only have Soda attracting flies to DX, now I have Baby Curtis. Which means even more girls around the weekdays. Pony usually showed up on Tuesdays and Thursday for some reason, and some of the younger girls caught up on that by now.

(_Damn the Boss Man better be giving us a bonus on top that raise considering all we've done here...Oh wait...The kid was getting older, he's 14 and a half now, right? Oh Dammit, the Boss Man better not consider hiring him here when he gets old enough...That would be like hell, Soda's always distracted by either Ponyboy or them girls, leaving me to pick up his slack... There's no way in hell that's gonna happen, ever!_)

"Jackass," now he had a smirk that was devious and kinda reminded of ol' Dallas Winston. Pony rarely showed off that side of him, well not anymore. He seemed only to do so when the situation called for it like when he's around some Soc bastards, or more likely, around me. _It annoyed me that he'd almost never say anything like that in front of Soda, you'd think after all I've done for that kid that he'd at least appreciate me for it. I mean after all, if it weren't for me, he probably even be around anymore._

_Fucker._

He walked coolly to the side of me to enter the living room and as a jerk reaction, I swung my right arm aiming towards that big head of his. He ducked and dodged it (_Dammit, why does that kid have to be so short_).

"Yer' gonna have to be faster than that, Steve." He was grinning so cockily right now. I heard a rustle on one of the other sofas.

"Hmm...What're y'all up to?" it was Two-Bit. He stayed here the night like me.

(Oh crap, I forgot he was here.) It was so weird being around him when he's asleep, I didn't know there was ever a time the guy could seriously shut up for longer than like a minute. I swear he mumbles sometimes in his sleep.

"Yeah, Pony, where were you out this early. You don't look like you've been runnin'." I said trying to leave the curiosity outta my voice.

"Uhh...Didn't Soda tell y'all," he looked at Two-Bit and sounded just too innocent. (What's going on here?)

"Oh yeah!" Two-Bit jumped out like a giddy school-girl.

He sauntered towards the now red-faced brother of Sodapop. It was Two-Bit's turn to have the devious smirk on his face.

"So...What were you doin' with that girl's house, huh?" he began annoying Ponyboy like one of those really annoying toddlers who keep asking questions and won't leave you alone until you answer them.

"Who is she?"  
"What does she look like?"  
"Does she go to our school?"  
"What's she like?"  
"How old is she?"  
"How did you to meet?"  
"Were you _really_ doing homework?"  
"Where did you sleep?"

Two-Bit kept bombarding him with questions and he grew even redder, I don't know why because I didn't really care so much. The kid embarrasses so easily nowadays.

"Oh lay off Two-Bit, why do you even think the kid's done anything anyways." They both looked at me incredulously for some reason. I shrugged it off.

"I mean, the kid hasn't even kissed a fuckin' girl, yet. And he's what, fourteen and half already?" Pony looked at Two-Bit, as if he were agree me. At least I think he did, weird of him. But Two-Bit looked more surprised as though he couldn't believe that. But it wasn't there long, he got back to grinning at Ponyboy.

"So, you were basically alone, right?" His voice softened but I knew it wouldn't last, regardless of Ponyboy's answer.

"Yeah..." (_You fuckin' idiot, why the hell would you tell Two-Bit that?)_

"Dang, Pony, I can't believe you didn't try anything with her. Wait, you didn't do anything, did you?" Two-Bit edge closer to the kid.

"_Yes_, Two-Bit. I didn't _do anything_, Okay?" he was more than fed-up with Two-Bit by now. I only smirked at his expense.

"Man, you know what I would've done if I were you?" Pony's eyes flared up.

"_NO, and I don't want to know!" (Calm down kid, or you'll wake them up.)_

_"For the last time Two-Bit, we are just friends!"_

Two-Bit just loves to mess with him, and I found the whole event rather amusing, if not, a bit much on ol' Keith's part. (Oh, wait, isn't that my job? Oh well, I'm not gonna go talk to Pony about this kind of shit. I already gave Johnny '_The Talk'_ and I'm pretty sure Soda has to him.)

"Two-Bit, stop messin' with my kid brother, y'hear?" a powerful voice stepped into the room. Darry was already getting ready for work, he was already irritated for some reason.

"Ponyboy, get ready to go to school and you better hope to God you got an A on that project of your's." Darry was unusually pissy to Pony today. I wonder what the kid did?

"And the next time you go out all night like that, don't you go off without tell me, y'hear?" Boy did that kid look sorry. It seemed only months ago that Pony would argue and make things worse instead of finding his foot so interesting.

(_Oh shit! That's a real bum move, even for you Baby Curtis.) _

When Darry went back to the bathroom probably to shave or something, me and Two-Bit stared the poor kid down. (_He didn't even tell Darry?) _Damn, I didn't think that boy could get even more thoughtless. I mean, that was just plain stupid, he'd _know _what would happen if he didn't.

He looked angrily at the direction towards his room where his big brother was probably off in his own little dream world. Far away from here.

(Maybe Soda was supposed to tell him or around Pony was supposed to leave but forgot.)

_(As if the kid didn't have enough torture from Two-Bit. Damn I wonder what Darry's got planned to say when we're not around.)_ My thoughts happily trailed off...

Returning to my senses, Ponyboy was still fed-up about Soda probably, and Two-Bit was up to his old tricks annoying the crap outta him. Pony flipped at something Two-Bit said, I don't know what, they were talking too quiet for me to hear. He was real mad at him and he looked sincerely sorry.

I thought about Soda and laughed in my head. (Sorry buddy, these are family matters; dangerous territory for me. I can't believe you forgot to tell Darry. Y'all are gonna have to patch things up without me.)

(Speaking of which) Seriousness returned. "Where the hell is Soda?"

I really need to talk to him. As if by command, Sodapop walked right into the living room.

"Yeah, buddy? What'cha want, man?" Soda, even though he still looked like a mess, especially his hair; he was chirping about happily. To be honest, I don't remember the last time the guy seemed so happy. I know he and Pony made up, thank God. Darry's also gotten like a raise or something because even though Pony's gotten to eating again, the bills didn't seem so much of a problem right now.

...

(Maybe I shouldn't tell him right now. I mean, after what she said to him and treated the rest of us. She doesn't _deserve_ a second chance with him, I don't care what the reason may be. Even if it is _that_. I remember what happened to Soda after those two split and I'm not letting it happen again. I don't understand how it took so long for any of us to figure it out anyway. i should've seen it right away, but no. It's no wonder they always went to _those_ kinds of places. There's no way in hell I'm gonna let Soda throw away his money and waste his life on _her_. Dammit!)

My best friend's smile faded into a worried expression because of my unresponsiveness. I tried to smile again, "Oh, it's nothing buddy; don't worry about."

(It's probably for the best anyway, but I don't want _her _to go anywhere near _him. _And there's no real way for me to do that, I'm glad I told her he didn't work at DX anymore. I'm not gonna tell him for now, maybe some time soon. Until then, I hope that _she_ doesn't find him before I do.)

XXX

"Hey Two-Bit."

"Yeah?"

"Are you gonna bring to school, today?" Pony's voice was a little less than happy

"Sure, kid." We both left to my old car that my mom got me for my 19th birthday. It really wasn't new, it was her old one, but I was real glad when I got it anyway.

_(Boy did I feel bad, that was a bum move of mine. I mean what did I expect from the kid, it's not his fault, it was mine. The whole damn thing, if it weren't for me then it probably would've never happened._

_I know the kid didn't do anything with that girl, if he did, he would've given in by now. If not to me, then to Soda or Darry. I wonder what he said to Soda about not telling Darry, they both got in trouble for it. Darry also talked to them about it. That certainly did ruin Soda's mood today, but I doubt it's nothing 7 or hours of almost non-stop flirting can't fix. Okay so Soda's cut down a bit on the flirting but that definitely doesn't stop those girls from trying._

_But still, Pony's tried hard to get his act together, really. I remember all of those parties that he went to, I don't think he caught on the fact that I usually went in after him just to make sure he's safe. Darry thanked me for always being there for the guy and since he and Soda were always off working; I'd like to think it was my duty to keep him outta trouble. He didn't get in trouble so much in those parties, he usually didn't stay for long. He was never the partying-type anyway._

_But somehow I got the feeling that the only reason why he went to those things was just to get away from all of us. I didn't do such a good job of keeping him in check either. A couple times in the summer; I buzzed up some Pepsi's and brought it over to their house so my mom wouldn't be so mad at me for being drunk a lot. They kept disappearing and I figured out why. Pony drank like three outta the six! This happened like two or three times and I didn't find out where the hell they went until it was way too late. There was a girl that Pony got involved with, and honestly, I did not approve of her. She was pretty for her age but kind of a bitch, like that Shepard girl Angela. But she was always real nice to Pony but to barely anyone else. Somehow I don't think he figured that out until a while. I know he went over to her house drunk at least once, who knows what happened then._

_The day figured it out, I basically ran to her house. She doesn't live too far away from my neighborhood and I asked around the her neighbors to find her house. When I got to the house, it was locked, I'm glad I had that new switchblade with me. Anyway, I lock picked the door and saw a girl and Pony making out like there was no tomorrow.)_

_..._

I took the blade out of my pocket, and looked at it.

_This switchblade was real sleek and tuff, it had that new feel to it. The thing was still sharp and looked as if it never even touched a single thing before the scrap that just happened. I remember the guy who gave it to me the summer. I only saw him a couple times before we actually met; he was usually in the park or walking in the streets alone or with a younger girl. The guy was pretty big probably around 18 years old. He had dark hair that was kinda short and tanned skin kinda like Johnny's. Ponyboy always said that a person's were like a window into their soul, but this guy had odd hazy eyes that I couldn't really get anything outta him just by looking. He seemed expressionless...Almost inhuman. They reminded me of Darry's only this guy's wasn't blue like Darry's._

_I saw the guy fighting off a couple of Greasers, well more hoodlums than anything else. He pulled out the blade after one of them did the same. These guys weren't the best around, the three of them were sloppy like they were high. I don't know what they were fighting about but the guy remained stern and fearless. When the hoods left, he walked up to me surprised as if he didn't notice. Right then, I didn't know what to think; he held a tuff switchblade in his right hand. He didn't actually use it cut or stab any of his attackers. He just punched or kicked them instead, he'd use the blade to defend himself or to scare them off._

_I eyed the blade and stood frozen, he looked at me and then the blade. He sensed that I didn't want to fight but for some stupid reason he ask,"Hey...Do you want this? I don't need it and I don't want to keep either." I looked at him as if he were retarded or something, or just real proud of his fighting capabilities. I doubted the latter but looking at the way he fought and just the feel about the guy, he wasn't retarded either. Then why the hell would he give the dang to me?_

_"Uh...Sure kid, mind if I ask why?" He looked to the side of him but his expression remained intact._

_"I just don't want it again, it belonged to a friend of mine and..." He just stopped there. I didn't need him to say more and just lightly took it from his hand._

_"Thanks kid." He smiled at me and wordlessly thanked me for not letting him go further._

_"Don't sweat it, man."_

_That was the last time I heard or saw the guy. Strange, the guy didn't seem like a Soc at all. His clothes didn't look like anything a Soc would where, but they were a bit too nice for most Greasers' taste. And if he was a Soc, then why did he give this blade anyway. He was fighting a group of greasy hoods and he didn't have any traces of grease in his hair. So from what I can tell, he's neither a Soc or Greaser._

_I wonder what they're like. __I've never really met any of those. Unless you count the Curtis', that is. Their Greasers at heart, but if their parents were still alive and they had some more money. Would they still be one of us; especially Darry and Pony.)_

"Two-Bit!"

"Dammit Two-Bit, keep your eyes on the road, you're gonna get us killed!" I quickly got the car back on the road without any accidents.

(Oh shit! I forgot I was still driving Pony to school. Dang as if he weren't already mad enough with me. Weird, it's not like me to space out like that. And how the hell did we not get in any accidents?)

We got to the school. "Uh...Sorry Pony," he noticed the sincerity in my words and sighed.

"It's okay Two-Bit, we didn't get into any trouble anyway. And besides, it was kinda fun." For a like a half of a second, that grin of his grew devious. (Pony?)

"Hey Ponyboy," a voice closer from the school said. It was the red-haired girl, the friend of that other cute Soc girl. She was with another Soc who expressed no disdain towards the kid at all. His smile was now good-spirited,"Hey Cherry, hey Randy." They cheerfully greeted each other, it was good to see Pony so happy again. Him, Darry, and Soda. I glad my mistake wasn't irreversible. After all, the whole thing about Pony kissing the girl wasn't the only repercussion because of him being drunk.

"Okay see ya' later kid."

"Later, Two-Bit."

**XXXX**

Wow, the first chapter _without_ Ponyboy's POV in it, probably one of the only. So what does Steve got to say to Soda? And Two-Bit's been keeping a secret from the rest of the gang for Ponyboy, how long will it stay a secret? What else did unknowingly getting Ponyboy drunk do?

Guess who _the guy_ Two-Bit's talking about. _Please _don't try and say who it is unless you _really _have to or want to. If you do want to say it that send a message.

Chapters Five and Six as of now where supposed to be one big chapter, but like the Three and Four, it got way too big (over 9000 words). And please excuse any errors I made.

Does anyone wanna give me my wish to Santa Claus? What I want for Christmas is: **_reviews_**! Big surprise there. 8)


	6. Chapter 6 : For the Star of County Down

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Six**

**For The Star Of County Down**

* * *

_I opened the door and I immediately smelled the good ol' comforting scent of beer. I waltzed over the to cute bartender with a sly grin._

_"Hey there, Barb," noticing me she smiled back. Barbara was a good friend of mine; way back when I was a freshman at high school. She was no older than 22, though she could easily pass up for younger, and she was still in college. She took up bar tending to help pay the bills and her tuition fees. She had some nice brown eyes and curly hair to match. Again, very cute even though she wasn't a blonde. Though not the most well off people out there, she would seem loaded compared to most other Greasers._

_"Hey, Keith," I didn't mind so much when girls would use my real name around me. "What cha' looking for?" As if she didn't already know._

_"Oh y'know. The usual, Barb." She cocked her eyebrows and grinned at me. "What do ya' mean there, Keith? I'd reckon you were only 19 or something, especially by the way you look." Her voice was now heavy with sarcasm, but in a playful way._

_"19? Nah girl, you better get yer' facts straight. I'm 21 years old." I handed her my fake ID. It was a real good one too; by that I mean it looked real and slick. It was a bit dusty and some small tears on the sides; all just to make it look authentic. I was also sure to put a funny picture on it._

_Now her grin was real wide and her eyes rolled. "Okay then, one beer it is for you, Keith." She responded while still holding onto my ID. Before I let her do anything else, I got up a little closer and now, I was smiling real cool like and said,"Ya'know. It's got my number on it, if ya' want." And it did; I swear she just grew a little red._

_"Nah Keith, sorry but you're too young for my blood." I wasn't really surprised._

_She got up and walked over to get me my beer. I could pass up for 21, I'd say so. I've been drinking way before I was 18 anyway, it's not like this isn't new for me. I'm 19 and now I've only got 2 more years until I can drink legally; not that that's even gonna change much of anything. Hm, maybe I should throw a drinkin' party on my birthday._

_She scooted closer to as if to whisper,"Hey, Keith. Ya'know that cute-looking colt at the one DX around the corner?" (Soda) "What about him, Barb?"_

_"I hear a girl's after him." I looked jokingly disappointed at her. "Dang Barb, I didn't think you of people would stoop down to a guy whose like 5 years younger than you." I cocked my eyebrows._

_She gave me an irritated look,"I ain't talking about me, Keith. I hear this girl's a cut above the rest, or somethin' like that." "Well, Barb, that ain't new. You know ol' Sodapop's gots lots of girls falling for him. Even a lot of Soc girls flirt with the guy." I mused and gazed into the air above me. "And who can blame the guy, anyway. I bet he could make even a Soc girl faint just by winkin' at them."_

_Barb's face was perplexed as if she were trying to recall something. "No, this girl's different," even though her voice was uncertain but calm, I sensed I wasn't gonna like these news. I needed a freakin' drink, so I started chugging the beer bottle that I still had._

_"I'm pretty sure she's pregnant." (**WHAT?**) I split out some of the booze in shock. Though I wasn't really looking at anyone, my shocked expression only turned sour._

_(Oh God, could it be? It better not be her. That skank better not be here to ruin things all over again. I mean after she sent that letter back to him..._

_Man Soda was so down, he took all of his money that day and he left. He fuckin' left Tulsa just to go see her. That week me, Darry, an' Steve looked **everywhere**to find the guy. He wasn't in any place we knew of and he didn't contact us at all. Pony was gone the whole day too; I don't think he was aware of it and I still don't think he knows what really went down then. Soda did finally find a place to stay, all the way to Virginia. I think he hopped on a train to the East and like overslept or something. He was staying a place where a family like brought him to the hospital. They were kind enough to pay the bill fully. Soda was in pretty bad shape, they say didn't eat for like a whole day or two. We was also jumped by a gang around the town, he ended up being fine though. They didn't beat him so bad._

_Dammit Soda, why the hell did you have to leave like that? All of us (but Pony) were like worried to hell. After Soda got better, he called us and we went and we got him by plane. Darry was the only one to go since those damn plane tickets cost so much money. That was real rough for all of us, and it was all in one week! He came back even worse than when he left, that could only mean one thing..._

_Sandy doesn't deserve **anything** from us, especially not from Soda. He was willing to throw his life away for her, more than once and she turned him down. It annoyed the hell outta me when we all find out she got pregnant. Why should he help her? The kid's not even his! Damn, she all had us fooled thinking she was just a nice Greasy girl. That was rare come by any day and I always had a weird feeling around her. The way she never laughed his jokes, the way she never really seemed to really take an interest in his life. Sandy always bailed out on him, even when she planned out the date. But she'd call him expecting that he'd be willing to drop everything he's doing just to be with her, he most of the time he would. If he didn't, she'd probably flip. And I **seriously **doubt the girl even knows the name of his little brother!_

_All this time, she was just using him..._

_That bitch should never should that face of her's around here again...)_

_I looked at Barb again who was worried sick since my minded wandered off. "Keith, are you okay?" I snapped outta my thoughts._

_"Oh...Yeah I'm fine, Barb," I gave her a reassuring grin._

_"Wait, did you say that this girl was a Greaser or a Soc?" I had to know, I don't think anyone could mistake her for a Soc. Unless this is someone else._

_"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's a Soc, Keith." She seemed like she was waiting for me to respond but I didn't do anything except take more of my drink. Finishing up the rest of my beer bottle, I said to Barb without looking at her,"Okay, thanks Barb, I'll be seein' ya."_

_"Okay. Wait, Keith." (Huh?)_

_"Tell ol' Darrel Curtis that Barbara said hi, m'kay?" (Barb knows Darry?) I smiled back at her,"Sure thing."_

* * *

(I did Darry. Get an A on that project, that is.) Boy was I proud of that grade. I mean, me and Sarah worked hard on this so why should we expect less.)

We just got the report cards back and I looked at mine for what seemed to be hours. The first quarter read: C (Math), D (Science), D (Social Studies), D (Auto-mechanics), B (P.E.), and A (English). _Damn did those grades suck._ But the second quarter was much better. B (Math), A (Science), B (Social Studies), A (P.E.),and A (English). They were great, as far as I or any other Greaser was concerned. Much better than before but there was still one that really annoyed me. I had a C in Auto-mechanics, the first D was embarrassing enough for me to be a Greaser and get anything worse than a B in it. But even though I'm trying real hard, I still get a C in it. I don't know how they all did it; all of them, even Johnny, Darry and Dally got As here without so much as breaking a sweat. I don't know what it was about it, the class was just so confusing for me. Especially the maintenance part, if I ever want to like get a job (preferably at certain DX), I may as well start with our family's proud occupation. I know Dad was a part-time auto-mechanic back in the day. I remember how he got Soda a car before he could even drive it; well he could drive it real well, but not legally then.

(_Great, I'm smart in just about everything a Greaser wouldn't be, but a dumbass in the one thing they would be...I swear I'll never hear the end of this from Steve and Soda. At least I can prove to Darry that I've been improving here, though. I wonder what Johnny and Dally would say about it..._

_Johnny never paid too much attention to his grades though once or twice he'd try real hard to make the honor roll. And he did once, you'd think it'd be a good thing for ol' Johnnycake, but it wasn't. The whole thing didn't change a thing, God I hate his parents... How could someone like Johnny come from people like **them**? And why the hell did no one ever notice? I know Johnny would never tell. Whether or not it was because they would skin him if he did, or it was because he'd never accept anyone's pity, was beyond me._

_And Dallas...I wonder just when he dropped out. Well, but dropping out didn't really change much of anything anyway. He'd skip classes almost every day, usually by hanging around the lunch room or just by walking outta school. Auto maintenance was the only class he didn't fail; in P.E., he really refused to work hard unless it was a competition or something. Dally could play football and basketball real well (Johnny was more for soccer like me). But only if and when he wanted to, if he was there that day to begin with. He usually wouldn't refuse a game against a bunch of Socs, he and Tim were notorious for being rivals and pretty much crushing most people who got in there way. It was far from uncommon for Soc and Greaser basketball or football teams to go head to head. Sometimes they made bets, they were said to bet pretty high; it's no wonder where Tim Curly and Dally got a lot of their money from. Well, a lot for a Greaser, not so much for a Soc._

_Like I said; I don't like him but I did respect him...Like some other people...)_

Well now that I think about it, Steve did well with most of his classes too; he never really got a D in any of them, usually just two C's and the rest were B's except in P.E. and Auto Maintenance. (What were Two-Bit's grades?) I never knew them, he also never really showed it to us. I never took him for one who cared about this, like at all. Maybe he doesn't and just throws it away without even looking at them first.

I looked at my report card again, still hoping that C would magically turning into a B. No luck.

Either way, I kinda felt bad about not getting all A's. (Well that would be something huh? Some guy who barely gets a C average in one quarter but gets straight A's in the next. Especially a Grease in advanced classes.) I know Darry usually got straight A's; he worked hard for it too. Like he does with everything, he really wanted to get a scholarship and imagine Mom and Dad's faces when they finally gave him one (but this was in football).

But then, Darry dropped his scholarship for me and Soda since Mom and Dad had died. And Soda just plain dropped out.

...

* * *

After Science class, I went towards English class again. English was far from here and I had to pass some Soc hallways to there.

I still thought about what Steve said earlier. _"I mean, the kid hasn't even kissed a fuckin' girl, yet. And he's what, fourteen and a half already?"_

(_He doesn't know does he? Two-Bit does, I know that. But I don't think Soda or Darry know either. Well maybe it's for the best they didn't know, after all, it didn't mean anything anyways. Now that I think about it, the whole thing was rushed; I can't believe Two-Bit's never told anyone; I can't believed __**she **__hasn't told anyone yet. I'm pretty sure that was her first too,I wouldn't be surprised at all...__I thought that first kiss was supposed to be like some magical event that you'd never forget. Y'know sparks would fly; the two of you, holding each other with your arms; laughing quietly while looking getting lost in each other's eyes as the night fades into darkness..._

_Shit, that's a seriously __**fucked up lie! **__Hell yeah I won't forget it! And dammit I can't believe I did something so stupid! Ugh! Why do girls have to be so fuckin' confusing!_

_...Oh, well, she's gone now and I won't have to worry about her ever again, I hope.)_

Three, big guys blocked the doorway in front of me. I recognized one of them alright.

"Where do you think you're going Grease." I didn't have time for this, I'm going late for class. Right now I glared at them. To a lot of Socs, I'm still a possible murderer and I used that thought to my advantage in more than one occasion. Even though I'm not, most Socs left me alone because of it, but even so, not all of them were scared off. These guys were in the football team; there was way more than one reason why I never tried out, unlike Darry. Soc's couldn't scare Darry off, and if there were a scrap between any of the players, then they got kicked off the team immediately. Besides, they were way more scared of him than vice versa, it is Darry after all.

"Leave him alone, Alexis," a voice behind me spoke. It was Arthur Lee Sinclair or just Lee. "My name's not Alexis," he sounded like brat. (_Isn't he, though?_)

"Right, right." Lee's voice grew sarcastic and for a brief moment, joined me in glaring at them. The three Socs didn't look like they were gonna fight us. Not only were they afraid of me, but they were also afraid of him. Lee was and is a Soc, he looked like, acted like it, and was smart like one. But he kinda has a hatred for _certain _(a lot, if I'm not mistaken) Soc guys. They say he's pretty famous in a few of the Soc fight clubs, though I doubt he's jump a Greaser for a while, if ever. I wasn't his only Greaser friend, he a few others too including some Soc friends too. He can be seen around some Greasy hang outs, most of them don't really mind him since they see him a lot, but quite of few don't like the idea of a _Greasy Soc_. If that was even possible.

The two argued for a while; though Lee remained very calm, the big Soc got angrier and angrier.

They eventually left but not without glancing back at us to make sure we didn't jump them. We wouldn't, we had better things to do.

"Thanks, Lee ," I said with a hint of sarcasm not well hidden in my voice. "You didn't have to do that, y'know."

"Yeah, whatever man. C'mon let's get to class already." His tone grew into a happier one. He was usually pretty cheerful and joked around sometimes, but not so much around other Socs.

Lee kinda glorified me for saving all those kids way back when. Though I'm not so sure how I felt about it, not so bad but definitely not good. It was never good to be reminded of Johnny and Dally's death. And I told him something similar to what I had told Steve then, "I'm not a hero at all, Lee . But I wasn't gonna let all those kids die and besides, my friend went out there too. Being a Grease had nothing to do with it; either you'd save them or you wouldn't. I know Dally wouldn't but Johnny would've. He's the real hero here, him and Dally both. I'm sure you've done the same." He looked away in disbelief, "I dunno, man. I'm not like you, especially not then." Back then, I didn't really see Lee around except in my classes (we share some classes together, he is a Soc after all). So I don't know what he was like before we were friends.

But either way, I gained his respect because of the whole thing, and I wasn't gonna argue with him about it.

While we were getting through to English class, a lot of Soc girls started looking at me for some reason. They would smile at me and it made me feel real weird. (I don't get it...What's different now about me that I didn't have back then. Appearance wise, that is.)

In class, a couple of Soc girls said hi to me with a curious grin before leaving to go to their seats. I swear I grew quite a few shades of red. I looked at Lee and he didn't seem to really notice or care so much.

Lee already had a girlfriend, Andrea. She was a nice girl who never swore and didn't wear makeup even if Lee wanted her to. She was not like most Greasy girls in that sense. It's just like him to go after a girl like her, I always thought. But I liked Andrea, all of us would watch movies together sometimes. Like I said before, I don't really like going to the movies too much with other people around. But they didn't bother me so much, they rarely flirted in front of me and when they did, they were subtle about it. They'd just watch the movie, hand-in-hand, and quiet for most part. And I was fine with that.

I guess when some guys already have a girl, they don't really go after any others..._Some _guys, that is, not most.

* * *

"Alright, class. You know I don't like having to give y'all speeches but I'm getting paid so sucks to be you!" He was grinning ear to ear and a sarcastic, prideful tone overtook him.

"And besides, as you're English teacher, I think you have the right to know-" He got louder and the trickster-like vibe that very commonly emanated from him was gone.

"That I really don't care if y'all want to go fuck up your lives by bummin' around, throwin' parties like there's no tomorrow, and by living off your parents wealth." I don't think anyone else noticed it but he seemed to be very critical of a very _specific_ group of people.

"I don't care if you live to be homeless and penniless because you never did anything. Because you should and will be held accountable for everything it is that you do." Mr. Vallen was real good at bringing my class down. But they've always phased me and Lee , his rants like these actually gave me a bit of a good laugh when looking at the faces of the others. Especially the Soc girls here not named Cherry Valence.

"I mean, look at me." His smirk reformed and the sarcasm returned.

"Granted somethings in my life were not in my control, but I made some really stupid decisions and now I have to be paying for it even still to this day. I mean look where I'm at." Mr. Vallen didn't finish, but he was laughing again.

"I'm here teaching a bunch of no-talent losers about world literature."

Much of the class groaned quietly in unison. Bell was of course rather flustered by this since she kinda had a thing for our teacher. "Uh, that's not so nice Mr. Vallen."

The side of his face turned until he saw her. His eyebrows elevated and formed a devious look in his face.

"Well neither are you!" hah, I was thinking the same thing when he said it, only I would've another added a word at the end.

* * *

At the near end of class, Mr. Vallen gave us an article to read at home, so I did. The article was pretty long and it was published only a couple months ago.

_It was titled, "Our Fallen Star." It was about a pretty famous kid from the East Coast. His name was Jason Lenyx. I remember he got put on like a lot of reports on T.V. right after his death. Which was pretty close to the end of the school year._

_According to the article, this boy was a child prodigy with a very long list of talents. Jason was apparently the president of school when he was a junior. The school was one of the smarter ones, I don't know if there is a name for them. He got real popular there when he and his best friend Kenny Sanchez won a basketball game against the school's team captains somehow. They're school was always around the top of the district, and event shook the school up. They were asked to join the basketball team, but they both refused. Kenny was already well known mostly for his art and a few of his sports. Jason was know to dislike playing the game, for some reason._

_Jason never got in trouble for anything, at all. But one day he died in a fire, it was caused by a cigarette. Though it's been confirmed that he had been offered drugs by some of his classmates before, he was never really known to use any, at all._

_He was still about 16 and a half when he was going to graduate high school. He must've put up a grade or two. They say he was very stressed out before he died. It was commonly know with his friends that he held a tremendous hatred for his mother. He often joked about it, but none of his friends really knew how bad the situation really was. But he would almost never complain to his friends about it. But he truly hated them; you can tell if you look in his journal. He hated how they were never proud of him, no matter what he did or how great it was. They could always find fault in everything he does and irritated him constantly. He also had an unhealthy relationship with his siblings; they never got along and would avoid each other at school. In an effort to detach himself from his family as much as possible, he often stayed at his friends' houses for as long as he could. As long as he could still keep a 4.0 GPA, that is._

_If home life wasn't bad enough, school wasn't much better. He many friends or supporters but he also had a lot of close friends. He greatly valued each and everyone of them too, but a lot his friends were getting mad at each other or breaking up. He is constantly left to pick sides between the two, but he could never really chose from them. So in the end, neither him or any of the two others were friends anymore._

_He was well acknowledged in the community, however. He participated in track, swimming, chess, tennis, and spent over 50 hours of community service, every year since the 6th grade. But all of these after-school activities only made things worse. He'd get less sleep and less time to do homework and got chronic exhaustion. That and two of his closest friends died that same year. One was his best friend and the other was like a big sister to him._

_They say that with all of his services, activities, and good grades. He could've gotten into just about any college or university he wanted. It's so confusing as to why someone who always seemed so happy, competent, and secure could really be so troubled. It's curious as to why no one was able to notice any of these problems. Not even those he could call friends knew about it; then again they were the ones forcing him to take sides with no regard to his own feelings. If anyone should feel bad about it, it's them. They were the only ones who he actually cared about what they thought. The reason why he never told them and that he always hid it from them all was because of how they saw him. A loving, happy-go-lucky, pretty boy who was also intelligent and talented. He was always the problem solver, they would go to him and basically dump their problems on him. Though Jason never did the same to them. His friends saw him as infallible, so basically, the weight of their expectations of him was tearing him apart. They also knew that the thing hated most was pity. To him, pity from **them **would've been worse than anything..._

_In his journal, he wrote about what his friends and family would say or if he did something that he's proud of. He seemed to value small things, like making a girl laugh after she cried, or if someone would give him a dollar for lunch when he had no money. And some close experiences he had with some of his friends. But his journal often had things written in them that he didn't do but he speculates what would've happened if he did._

_His body although burned pretty bad; it was found with quite a few tattoos, some of his friends knew but he rarely ever showed them. It was like he was ashamed of them, or something. The tattoos and an earring that he wore both seemed to be affiliated with a local gang. There was one account that almost got him expelled, however. In the lunch room, he yelled the words 'yo jackass!' and ran up to someone and punched them, knocking the guy out. The guy he knocked out was a well known delinquent; skipping class, bullying and harassment, and real bad attitude._

_However, whether or not Jason had any real connection is unknown. Though, if he had been affiliated with some gang, perhaps his death wasn't just a coincidence._

...

I knew what Mr. Vallen was trying to get at when he gave us this. That no matter who you are, how great your future could be, it could all still be ruined by your own poor decisions. And that no matter what fucked up shit life throws at us, we are still responsible as to how we handle it. It also said that, you never know just how much trouble someone has in their lives just by looking. I mean this kid _could _probably be accepted to any college he wanted. They said that his future was very promising, but I guess that can't really matter if you have no present.

The big idea here? Get to fixing your life **now**.

Ugh...Somehow, I got the idea that this was directed toward me more so than anyone else. ...I _have_, dammit. But I irritates me that no thinks I've changed when I worked so hard to get out of all of that. I haven't been doing any of _that._ I keep myself outta trouble more than ever; I watch my language; and I'm getting my grades up. I mean last night, I could've tried something but I didn't. Go back 4 months and I probably would have tried something with her, but I didn't.

_Why can't anybody see that I've changed!_

...

Oh well, it's not like I'm doing this for any of _them_, anyway. I'm doing this for my brothers. Only for them, Cherry, and me. I don't want to be that kind of person.

And who's to say Mr. Vallen has the right to tell me, anyway? He hasn't been through what I have, no one has...And hopefully no one would ever have to...

* * *

There was another, smaller article. It was about Jason's friend, Kenneth Sanchez.

_Outside their appearances, Kenny was almost a mirror image of his best friend, Jason. They shared many of the same after-school activities and classes. Kenny was more well known as the artist; he could draw very well and he wrote and sang some of his own songs in the school talent show._

_They were the best of buds, no doubt; Kenneth would let Jason stay over at his house sometimes. But they also had many of same problems. They're friends would get mad at them for not choosing a side, and all of their advanced classes were getting them exhausted. But Kenny and Jason always had each others' back and could count on each other._

_However, unlike Jason, Kenny had no known tattoos nor did he have an earring. He didn't seem to be engaged in misconduct. Also, he loved his parents, and they loved him back. But they were getting a divorce, which he couldn't stand the idea. Now he had to choose a side not only for his friends, but with his own parents too._

_So with three of his best friends gone all in one year, two of them, murdered, possibly three. That along with the pressure from his reputation, the pressure of just being in school, and the breaking apart of his family - he couldn't take it all. He justed vanished, no one knows where he is to this day._

...

I wasn't so sure how to react to that. I don't feel so bad since I didn't know the guy, but I'm not gonna happy when anyone dies. Especially not somebody like these two. Though to be honest, I'm kinda glad I read this. I know it's terrible to think that way but, I felt better knowing that some people had things pretty bad too.

The more I thought about it, these guys were a lot like Bob. Smart and talented with a seemingly flawless life. Yeah, _a lot_ like Bob. I didn't like him and I still don't; I could never like a guy who almost killed me and ultimately killed my best friend. But I do have respect for him. I had to, I mean, he had it rough too. Though not in a way I ever thought possible.

...

I looked at the picture of him, he looked vaguely familiar but the picture was at least 3 years old. The articles were published around the first month of summer as a 30-day anniversary to Jason's death. So Kenny, he's been gone for a long time by now, at least 7 months. Anything could've happened since then, he might even be dead already.

Scrutinizing the picture, I still felt like this Kenneth Sanchez was familiar somehow. I don't know what it was. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses (stupidly enough) so I couldn't see his eyes so well.

(_Who is he? I swear he seems so familiar!)_

* * *

Longest chapter ever. Finally, a bit more OC's. Two-Bit gets the word around, huh? Oh and his little rant about, a _certain somebody_ isn't for nothing, just so you know. That whole thing was a flashback. Pony's efforts are really showing now and looks like he's got some girl troubles, too. A Greasy Soc, huh? Wouldn't that be something? I guess there's still somethings left unsaid between the two Curtis brothers.

Oh, the italics in the article is actually Ponyboy kinda re-phrasing it for you. There was more to it, the articles I mean, but that'll be important later on, and you'll find out why. But that's a story I won't touch...for now.

And so why the hell did I put those articles in this story and what are they supposed to mean? Why the hell does Mr. Vallen seem to pester Ponyboy so much? If I can keep this story up, then I promise you'll find out in the later chapters. I probably won't be updating so often now. I want to keep going; this is a really bad place to stop, but I'm not sure if I can even find the time anymore after the break. I'll keep this going, I'll still try, that is.

...

So umm...Reviews? Questions? Observations? Predictions? How'd I do? Where do you think its going? All that...

Merry Christmas everyone, I guess...


	7. Chapter 7 : The View

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Seven**

**The View**

* * *

_I woke up on a dirty stone floor. The smell of stale tobacco spelled by the distinctive yet nearly invisible smoke wafting in the breeze-less day. Quite a few cigarettes lay all un-smoked and scattered across the floor. There lying on the ground in front of the small church, it was a small and pale, Greasy boy wearing a shirt that was way too big on him. He had short, bleached hair and a real cool set of green-gray eyes. Days of being stranded out here in the middle of nowhere welded his face to a nearly expressionless fixture._

_"Golly Ponyboy, how much you smoke today?" his face was unchanged. "I dunno, man," Ponyboy was so out of it right now. And not because he was high off smoking or anything like that._

_"C'mon man, even you know that smokin' so much is bad fer ya'." He shot a glare at me, "Yeah, an' you'd know that, wouldn't you **Johnnycake**?" He was obviously referring to me starting to smoke at nine. So I guess I have no room telling him to stop, huh?_

_I stepped closer and motioned him to light and give me one. I don't feel bad about it, I mean I really don't have too much left to do here anyway. I think Pony's a bit steamed about me beating him in all those card games. I can't blame him. Besides, I may as well and try to enjoy my life while I can, right?_

_..._

_"Hey Pony..."_

_"Yeah, what?" ____I wanted to ask what he thought the gang was doing right now. _I didn't really want to bring up the idea anymore than he did. It was one of those thoughts that have always been at the backs of our minds since before we even got to Windrixville. If we didn't avoid the subject so much, then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

_The thought of it all was so painful for me but it must've been so much worse for him. He loves his brothers but me, I've got no one. No one to really count on, no one to look up to, no one to stick up for me..._

_Except **maybe **Dally._

_We've been gone for like two or three days. At least I think so, it feels so long since then. Something like a couple months already. But we all know it hasn't even been a week. Maybe it was too soon for the both of us to start think about it._

_"Do you think we should, uh, fight?" He winced and looked back at me confused._

_"What do ya' mean?" I felt real bad for asking. I mean, if we are gonna be runaways forever, we may as well learn to defend ourselves._

_"Ya' know...If you're gonna stay away from home, they may be if we run into anyone, then we should..." Ponyboy cringed when I used the word if. He waited a real long time before responding to me. (Be ready for anything) I wanted to say it out loud, but I felt so low right now._

_Finally, he grinned at me, "Sure, Johnny. We ain't doin' anything anyway."_

**XXX**

Weird, I didn't see him leave school. He'd usually wait for me, but not this time, oh well. Maybe I'll find him around soon.

I did find him, he was at the graveyard, I barely noticed too. He was standing at a grave that said the words 'Johnny Cade'. I recognize that name alright, but I don't like thinking about it so much.

"Hey, you okay?" He looked so out of it right now. Obviously seeing those words were much worse on him than they ever could be on me. I saw him on that newspaper and after that I didn't really know what to expect. I just couldn't believe a grease would do that, but damn do I feel guilty. Maybe someday I'll tell him, but I don't think I can without him getting mad.

If I hadn't seen that article then maybe I would've never became friends with Ponyboy in the first place.,,

I didn't like that look on his face, I really don't think he should stay here for much longer. I couldn't stand it either.

It was kinda cold and he was only wearing jeans and a blue, sleeveless shirt with Micky Mouse on it. Somehow he didn't seem to mind the cold so much, but I had on a sweater so it didn't bother me some. We'd take the bus to get to school but we didn't like to take the bus home so much. We walked home just about every day.

I thought back at the graveyard, I wish he didn't go there. I mean, he barely smiles as it is. My guess is that he goes to the graveyard like once or twice a month or something like that.

We passed by an alley that was heavily vandalized by graffiti. We both loved staring at these kinds of things, there were a bunch around all of Tulsa. In both grease and Soc neighborhoods. He brought the idea here and a bunch of people started to imitate him, but some how you could just tell it was his if you ever saw it. The guy was called the 'Black Cat'. He didn't sign his name at all until he got pretty famous here. I don't know where the term Black Cat came from, but I doubt it was the guy himself who thought of it.

He spray painted a bunch of different things. Most were words like peace, hate, love, benevolence, malaise. Stuff like that in weird and colorful fonts but were ultimately cool-looking in spite of it. He also had some short poems on the walls (they looked cool too, the font, that is), though most are kinda faded out or other images were sprayed over them. Some of his favorite pictures were flames, fireworks, black cats, heaters, skulls and stuff like that.

One picture showed a city that was being snowed lightly with the ashes of a cigarette (the cigarette was above the city); the city itself looked awful. The condition, that is, garbage every where, kids though frozen in time, were fightning; and some grafiti in it too. But all of it was written in _red_. The city looked like it was far off in the background. There was a large camera pointed towards the city but with its lens cap on so none of this was been recorded...

There was also a man in a tuff-looking tuxedo holding an umbrella over and behind his head, leaving the city. He didn't have a face or was wearing a mask, and his head was kinda down.

There were a couple odd things about the guy though. All of his art, they came outta no where in the summer. I heard about graffiti way over the East, but never around here. So why start like now? But I know the greaser-Soc fights got worse that part of the year than it had been for years. How come no one found the guy or seen caught him while doing this? He also seemed to support both greasers and Socs.

But both Socs and greasers admired his work. Despite that, from his art, it was plainly obvious that he greatly opposed fighting. There was one bit where it should a real cool-looking grease breaking street lights; he would would mug old ladies and scare off little kids. Another showed a guy dressed in nice clothes but he would get drunk and beat on greasers. There were more; but he never did specify which ones were his. You just had to tell.

Trying to use stereo-types to help prove a point - now where have seen that before?

It must suck. The fact that his art was meant to help quell the violence that so marred this town, but instead it served as a catalyst for even more. In other words: although he had good intentions, he really only made things worse.

As for me, I don't really care which he was. He had a great talent, and I admired him for that, whoever it was. Now that I think about, who ever said the Black Cat was a guy? It could be a girl. Who knows? And where did he or she go? They stopped not so soon after they started.

I looked over to my friend, he looked at it with amazement. His cool green-gray eyes were glistening with life, for once. I've been his friend for what? Two months? I have to say, it really was a rare thing to actually see the guy smile. Like that, I mean he'll smile every time he sees a friend or if he hears a good joke, but they don't last for so long. Not like this.

It's not his or anyone else's fault, it's just the way he is. I think.

"Hey c'mon, man. Let's go." I motioned him to come follow me, he followed and we were both off. Unsurprisingly, his face went back to being nearly expressionless again. I don't think something big's going on, or anything like that. He's been like this for probably a lot longer than I've known him. And yeah, he's a real quiet guy. I'd have to say I'm cool with that.

His back slouched slightly to the front, and he stuck his hands in his jeans. He looked tough, it seemed like it was something natural for him. I wonder if that comes with being a grease. I don't know, but I guess I wouldn't know.

We were approaching a Dairy Queen. "You hungry?" I knew he was. "A little." (You liar) "Then let's get a bite to eat." He looked at me, a little annoyed, "C'mon, ya' know that it's expensive over there." (It is?) "Then I'll pay for it," my selfless suggestion only made him even more agitated. I should have known better.

"I don't need your charity," he was really good about not letting the frustration show. I knew he hated me doing that, but it was my suggestion and I'm going to follow through with it.

"Oh, shut up and accept it will ya?" I followed his gesture and went on looking real dangerous like. We both got to the Dairy Queen and entered.

It was like someone set off a bomb in here, by someone, I meant us. The whole crowd of people inside eyes' all shifted towards us in unison. (Shit) I looked at him, though the way he was standing and that look on his face were unchanged, something went off in the guy's eyes.

This wasn't good, there were a shit load of Socs in here. But why? We'd both go here every once in a while, but this place was never so filled. Most of the middle class kids go here, the small group of people who weren't a part of the Soc-greaser conflict. And most were unaware of Socs and greasers. Well, they knew about them, but most of them did not really know about our struggles. I glanced at the prices, they were quite a bit higher than usual. Was this place being a new Soc hangout and is the price rising a coincidence? Somehow I doubted. There weren't so much cars in the lot; so did they like walk here or what?

When the majority of them went about their business, or at least pretended to do so, we moved closer and headed towards an empty table near the front corner. He scanned the surrounding area with suspicion. "Hey, do you have some grease on you?" (No, I don't think so). I checked my pockets and was pleasantly surprised when I found some. (Where the hell did I get this?) I ignored my thought and just gave it to him, "Thanks, man."

It wasn't so weird for me to actually have some with me; I also have a mirror so I can fix my hair if it gets all messed up. I like my hair, it was longer than most non-greasers, mine is real curly and blond. What I didn't like it so much was that it would always lose it's form to the wind. So I put hair oil on; not a lot, just enough so I didn't have to go about fixing my hair every 5 minutes. A little like his when his hair was still blond, I remember he hated having it blond though. I don't know why, he looked pretty cool with it blond. I guess it's greaser thing.

"Hey," he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you want to get anything or what?" he gave me a look that told me he wanted out as fast as he could. I knew he wouldn't because it's a real bum move to walk in a place, look around, and then just walk out. People'd give you funny looks. (Okay.) "Try to not to attract too much attention," before I could finish, he gave me a look that said, "No shit, smart guy. Putting on grease while in a Soc hangout isn't exactly subtle, either." I would have asked (then why are you doing it now?) But he'd just respond saying that just sitting here would make things even worse than doing that. Which it would.

I always thought of it weird how we could have a conversation without really talking so much. But he seemed like the kind of person who'd do that sort of thing. I thought that maybe the reason why he doesn't talk so much is because that he doesn't really have to.

"If you get in some trouble, then just holler, ya' dig?" he silently agreed and headed towards the bathroom. I ordered me a chocolate smoothie and got mine not so long after.

"Well, well, well, look at what the trash brought in?" some guy stood up in front of the table I was at. I tried ignoring him and stared outside the window.

He was obviously annoyed by my gesture and put his hands the table and said, "Ya' know what's worse than a greaser?" (What? Being a big ol' dumbass like you?) He looked at me in the eyes, "A greaser-loving Soc." _(A what?) ...Damn I wanted to deck him in the face and knock the poor guy out, but this was a public place so that wasn't an option...yet._

My composure was still untouched since I got here, "I really wonder how you stand it." My voice was just quiet enough so that only he could really here me. With his grin disintegrated he inquired, "Stand what?" "Stand being a talentless loser who can't do anything right." He grew hot-headed (_all too easy_). I smirked widely.

I went on and rolled my eyes, "Well when you look at it that way, suddenly being a grease doesn't seem so bad, does it?" His face was priceless, and I would've been laughing my head off in spite of myself. "Look, you better learn to keep your mouth shut or I'll teach you lesson you won't forget." He looked and sounded grave and grim.

"What is it exactly that you could possibly teach me? How to trip over nothing, ya' idiot klutz (he actually did once). Or how to simply fail at life? In fact, I didn't know this could actually happen but, I think that every second I'm talking to you I'm actually getting dumber." He looked so steamed it was as if he were about to burst, but he kept it all under wraps - for now. He stood tall and looked down at me. I slipped some more of my smoothie.

My grin grew wide and obnoxious-like. "Oh come now, Dylan, don't be an ass. That is, if that's even possible for you." Pretending to ignore the first part of my remark, he cocked his eyebrows, "How'd you know my name?"

I looked to the side and took another sip, "I met your sister the other day. Yeah, a real bitch, ya know?" I looked at him eye to eye, "It must run in the family." We both shared our mutual looks of undying hatred and made no moves, but for only just a second. He then went on with cursing me and threatening me, but the guy at the counter said he didn't want any trouble or we're out. I saw my friend exit the bathroom with his hair looking all cool like. He held a face of confusion, as did most of the others around us. His face turned sour at the sight of Dylan, but then again, a lot of people's did.

I didn't feel like staying for much longer anyways; it's so rank in here, that the place was really getting me sick. There were a lot of people giving us looks.

I needed an smoke or something.

"That's fine, we were on our way anyway." We both left the door with the same expressions that we came in with.

"What was that all about, _Lee_?" I didn't really feel like talking about it. "It's nothing, _Ponyboy._ All the usually crap that goes one." He digested that, but of course what else would've happened, right? If I had known about it, then we would have never gone it.

I didn't feel bad at all, I knew about Dylan, he wasn't the grudge type. Okay, so he was, but he hates so much people it's not like he'll ever remember me anyway. And besides, I've met with people like him before, so engrossed with their own personal needs and gain that they don't give a damn to anyone else. So I've no regrets in that matter.

I got out a cigarette and lit it up. He looked at me as if he wanted one too. "Ya' want one?" He paused for a second. "No..." Thats not what his eyes said, to they looked more like, "Oh God, yes!" But he kept it all down. (Did he smoke before? Maybe he quit or something.)

We eventually got pretty close to the greasy neighborhoods. "Hey Lee, I bet I could beat you to my house." His face formed a grin and he started sprinting off. I followed after him. "C'mon Pony, this ain't the time, man," I dropped my cigarette (Oh dammit). I've seen his house while driving around sometimes so I know where to find it. But I've never actually been inside, so I really wonder what it was like.

Ponyboy was rushing noticeably faster than me, he made the stupid mistake of looking back when he was near the intersection. *Thud* He crashed into somebody. Finally catching up and out of breath I joked, "Dang, don't you ever use your head?" I knew he really hated me or anyone saying that, not so sure why.

"Get off me, you little-" he stopped and we both figured out just who Pony ran into.

"Sorry, Randy," Pony looked like it, but his tone was odd. He was sincere and I _know_ they're friends, but he spoke to him differently than anyone in school. And to Cherry too, I wonder why.

"Oh, don't sweat it, Grease." Pony winced just a little, he told me that greasers don't mind other greasers calling each other that. He was more or less fine with me or Randy calling him Grease too, but we were still Socs; and he should never forget that.

"What were you doing, running around like that?" He was genuinely concerned. Then it hit him and he looked awful fierce, he shoved Pony slightly to the side and looked around, "Is there anyone after you, or something?" He looked at me, hiding his suspicion.

"Nah, me and Lee were just racing, I looked back and ran into you." he looked a little down.

Randy was looking curiously back at me, my face back to being cool and near expressionless. "Hey what's up, Lee," he extended out a hand. I hesitated at first but followed his gesture and shook hands. But I wasn't too happy to do so and he knew it. I wish he didn't, though.

Pony cocked his eyebrows, "You two know each other?" (He doesn't know?) I looked back at him a little surprised, "Of course we do, Pony. After all, he dated a good friend of mine a little while back." His eyes bulged only for a moment so that Randy wouldn't see. _Marcia?_ his face would ask. Mine responded, _yeah. _Now Randy cocked his eyebrows.

I didn't like Randy, just because of the whole incident months ago. He was a guy who almost killed Ponyboy, anyway. Marcia breaking up with him was his own fault, I remember those days for the both of them: Cherry and Marcia. They were both felt real bad about everything, they felt that it was their fault. And it was, but definitely not all of it, Randy and Bob were both drunk and that was their fault also.

I can say I feel bad simply because Bob was a good friend of mine, but still, it was their fault.

But both of us could act like there was nothing between us pretty well. Though, for the most part, there really wasn't. But I couldn't hide my slight hatred for the guy, I'm sure they both caught on real quick. Randy knew I just didn't like him so much.

Ponyboy wouldn't let the awkward silence last for long, none of us could stand it so well. "So, Randy, what're doin' out here?" his eyes lit up a little. "I actually went over here to see a friend." (A friend that's a grease? Or one who at least lives around here? Who could that be?)

He went on, "I was actually one my way to hang with a couple of my friends. Y'all wanna come?" (Okay that was a stupid thing to ask, he only realized that after saying it. He knew why: his friends and I don't get along, I wonder how he does. for that matter. He doesn't seem the type to have those kinds of friends. And for Pony, the obvious reason: he's a greaser!) He looked away.

"You headed home, Pony?" Randy asked.

"No, actually I'm headed to DX to see Sodapop. He said he's trying to teach me to drive." "Oh really? I'll wish you luck then." (He's gonna need it, Randy.) I remember his auto-mechanics grades, I already have my license and the driver's test was real easy.

I glanced at my watch, "Hey, I gotta split soon, Pony," I felt a little bad. "Where ya' headed?" but now I grinned a little, mostly to myself. I can't believe I almost completely forgot. "I'm going over to see Andrea and we'll the movies later tonight."

Now he smiled a little and faced me, "You going to the Nightly Double?" "Yeah." He looked at me with a confused looked. "You should stop by sometime, y'know." Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever met any of his brothers. _...Wow, I'm a great friend aren't I?_

"Yeah, maybe I will someday." I looked over to the other neighborhood and started walk in its direction, "Later man." "See ya, Randy."

Randy looked at his watch, "I gotta go too, good luck Pony and say hi to Sodapop for me." Pony was grinning, "Sure thing, bye guys."

And all three of us left in separate ways.

I went back to thinking about that kid from the article...

_Hmm...Did I become friends with Ponyboy only because I felt sorry for him? Like the time me and Cherry found him within an inch of his consciousness left, I know I felt sorry for him then._

_I'd like to believe that isn't the truth, but maybe it is. To make things worse, I wasn't even drunk then, when I did what I did._

_I know I didn't have the right, none of us did. But I did anyway._

___So how 'bout it? Does that make me a hypocrite doing this? For only being friends because of my own guilt, too?_

_..._

_I don't think I'll ever tell Ponyboy. But he's smart, he'll probably find that out eventually anyway..._

**XXX**

"Okay calm down Pony, just back up and go to the right." He followed my commands, well at least the second half, he poor kid was so red with nervousness.

"Okay, now go forward to left. No you're other left," I stayed calm for him; it's not like I've never been a situation like this before. Hell they make sure to have this in the driving test anyways.

"Go to the right," we were now back on the right lane and continued. That could've been real bad, right there. I would've taken the wheel if it weren't for time's sake, and for Pony's.

His breathing steadied a little and he let out a deep sigh. I rubbed his shoulder, "You're doing good, man." He would've shot me a look that'd say, 'What the hell are you talking about? I nearly got us into a crash, that's not good at all!" But he was so focused on the road, he wouldn't dare risk it.

But I don't believe him. I reckon he's done a pretty good job already; we've only been driving for like an hour and he's already gotten better. This was his first time really taking the wheel himself and I'm damn well proud of him. I remember how bad it was for me when I was first driving, then again that was when I was 10 or something, so I don't know so much. I think that was the only time Mom ever got really mad at me. Darry too.

Now that I think about it, Mom and Dad really worried for Darry a lot back then too. Darry seemed like a totally different person then.

My little brother was driving pretty slowly but would speed up just a little whenever some one passed by. Obviously to let no one know he was new; and if he was, they'd at least get the thought that he knew what he was doing. Ain't no way a grease is gonna be a driving dope, especially not one whose got a brother like me (and one who doesn't even do dope, or any other drugs).

He paid so much attention to every little detail they give out in driver's ed class. Spatial margins, street lights, lines, lane positions, and the signs. He didn't so much have a problem with them but got nervous when driving with other people around; I noticed he wasn't too familiar with the right of way and it scared him something fierce.

I noticed that he was motioning me to help him, I did earlier but I thought it'd be best if he learned some on his own, for the most part. And he got pretty pissed at me for not helping him out so more.

Since I am his older brother, car specialist too; I did get around to teasing him for his mistakes, although not nearly as much as Two-Bit or Steve would. I wonder how Darry would do, but I know Pony doesn't like the idea of that happening. He was already nervous on the road as it is, Darry being around's not helping anybody. Pony still thinks Darry's so critical of him, but he's really let up compared to before.

Maybe Darry realizes that Pony's not _just his kid brother _anymore.

We eventually got to closer to the middle of town. Pony didn't like it - me neither. We we're getting closer to Social ground and I knew Pony wouldn't go much further. To make things worse, there was a car accident in the middle of a four-way intersection and getting outta one of those long lines were a pain in the ass.

Before we got close enough to be trapped for hours on end, I told Pony to let me take the wheel. I knew that wasn't exactly legal, but then I don't really care so much. And I know Pony was really happy to do so.

I drove quickly and in no time at all, we were back at home. I looked back at Pony, he was sitting way at the back of his seat, literally stunned. (Oops) I almost forgot he was here, he's still so quiet.

Well I haven't driven a car in such a long time that I got a kick outta this time more than usual. Darry usually has the car and Steve brought me to work anyways so that worked for everybody. Steve also made a pretty big deal about driving his car, he said it was his so unless he's got something else to do, he wants to be the one driving it. He didn't make a threat or anything like that, but I respected his wish and usually only let him do the driving.

"Soda! Why the hell were you driving so fast?" his words lacked anger, just frustration and anxiety. "Sorry, Pony. I guess I just got carried away." I looked at him with a cheesy smile. But his breathing was unsteady and he looked real awful, right then. "Pony? You okay?" He looked back at me and tried calming down, "Yeah Soda, I'm fine." He lied.

I was kinda mad he was late for his first driving lesson. I told him to get here by 4 but he came almost at 5. But I let up on him when I figured out what he was up to. He was talking to this girl, she looked cute and they were talking for a good amount of time. He already looked pretty sick and he tried to smile more as if he were trying to forget something, I dunno. But the girl could tell that something was up, too.

When she had to leave, I think he felt a little better. He still looked pale as a ghost, but I knew he wanted to try out driving, so I wasn't gonna argue with him.

Noticing his obvious aches in his chest and head, I looked at my brother endearingly. "Oh cheer up, Ponyboy. Ya' know, when you start driving, work on some cars some more and get real good, I could maybe get you a job at DX." He bounced up like a little kid, temporarily forgetting his pain, "You can? Really?"

I grinned widely, "Yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, the boss man still owes me an' Steve an awful lot for everything we've done for him. I reckon I can convince him a thing or two."

That really lightened up his mood, "Thanks."

"Ah hell, Pony. I love you man, don't sweat it too much, m'kay?"

**XX**

"Hey, there they're at," Two-Bit greeted us, but Pony just brushed right through them. I was hoping his good spirits would last just a bit longer, but I guess his headache was worse than I thought. He ran into the kitchen, got some asprins and gulped then down.

He cocked his eyebrows, "My guess is that those driving lessons haven't gone so well."

"No duh," another voice came from the living room. "You see this boy's grades? Damn Pony, I thought you we were so supposed to be the smart one." My buddy was grinning ear-to-ear, and Two-Bit joined in with some more jokes.

Pony glared daggers at him and I didn't feel so hot right there either. I didn't like them teasing him about his grades so much. Especially since he works hard for them. I know I could never pull it off, but he can. My brother's a smart kid and no one should make fun of him for that.

"Shut it, Steve. I'd still end up with better grades than you even with all those D's bringing me down." Pony looked real bitter and hung his head up with his arm supporting it.

"What D's?" Darry walked in with a crazed look in his eyes. Pony thought nothing of it. "Here," he gave him the report card. At first, Darry's eyes shot up but returned back to normal after a second or two. He smiled, to mine and Pony's relief, "Hey, you did okay, kiddo." What Darry meant was, "Great job, Pony. I'm real proud of you, ya' know that?"

He wheeled around towards Steve, "You lay off my brother, will ya? At least he's improving, which is more anyone can say about you." He left soon after, but not without Steve scowled intensely in his direction. Ignoring my brother's threats, Steve went on." I mean seriously, a C in auto-mechanics? And you call youself a grease."

A spark lit in my brothers eyes, and mine too. Being a grease is something that all of us were proud of; Ponyboy now more than ever. I mean, it's not like he hasn't already thought the same, anyways. It would've been enough for Pony scolding himself about it, he didn't need Steve to make things worse. I glared angrily at my best friend, I'm sure Pony did the same.

I saw him shake quite a bit, he was gonna say something, but didn't. Probably because of that headache of his. Steve noticed me and Pony both and kept his mouth real shut.

"Hey, y'all hungry?" Two-Bit asked with his head fully stuck in our fridge. "Hell yeah," Steve hollered out. I turned to my still ailing brother, "Well?," I nudge him a little, "Are you, buddy?"

He looked at me real tired like, "Yeah, a little." (You liar) I felt an evil eye coming from to the back of me.

"Well, then Sodapop's gonna have to get his butt way over here 'cause there ain't no more chocolate cake in here." (What?) "Two-Bit, why can't you just learn to cook since you're always itchin' to have some?"

"C'mon Soda, you're smarter than that. You know if Two-Bit tries cooking, it'll only result in a nuke or something. And if it don't explode while he's cookin' it, then it'll kill ya' from the inside out." We both got a good laugh about it. There was at least one or two times that Two-Bit tried cooking. He did it just to try and impress a couple of girls he managed to score, one day. Why? 'Cause chicks dig guys who can cook, and most of them do, and I should know. The problem? You actually have to be able to cook in order to impress a girl with your cooking. If I'm not mistaken, they left off gaging. Poor girls.

Two-Bit smirked, "Hey, better you dead instead of me, right? And besides, maybe we can slip some of my cooking to the Socs, then they'll be having diarrhea." "Now wouldn't that be something?" Steve whole-heartedly agreed.

I went to the kitchen and got out some milk and eggs first for the chocolate cake. It was still around 6 : 30 and Darry wasn't gonna make dinner till 8 or something. I didn't have anything to eat since lunch. I looked back at Pony who wasn't looking to good, right now. "Pony, you go ahead and sleep, okay? I'll wake you when it's time for dinner, y'hear?" I was a little worried at his unresponsiveness.

"Yeah," his voice was real weak. He slowly walked over to our room and shut the door.

Weird, Steve looked real worried for a moment. "What's with the kid?" "Did anything happen, or what?" Two-Bit added.

I kept at my cooking trying to find the answer other than just some pains.

I thought out loud, "No, at least I don't think anything did."

* * *

Just to clear something up: I've never read TwTTiN or Tex or Taming the Star Runner. Why? Because my middle school has the Hinton books but my High School DOES NOT! (For some really fucked up reason, I don't know.)

So please excuse my future ignorance of those stories, if I ever do. (I'm planning to buy TwTTiN the next time I go to the mall or something). I dun know where to get the other three books (I still have Outsiders with me).

I actually haven't even begun driving yet, so I'm sorry if I've screwed anything over. I'm in driver's ed right now, though.

By the way, I wonder if y'all can recognize what I'm reference with the '_Black Cat_'.

_**Please review.**_

_The Chapter's done, the story goes on..._


	8. Chapter 8 : Goes without Saying

**Hereafter**

**Chapter Eight**

**Goes without Saying**

* * *

_Dang, Johnny was a good fighter. He could fight better than I could even though I could pretty easily beat him in an arm wrestle. He fought in a way most greasers wouldn't. Most of us fought recklessly but he didn't. He was usually on the defensive, waiting to punish any gaps, openings, and our slip-ups that his opponent does. Granted, this didn't work so well for him all the time, it was best when fighting one person, at least. And that's just not how Socs fight operate._

_But since we started sparring some, he's gotten much better. So did I, hopefully good enough to count. I don't want to be so afraid of them the next time we tussled. Next time, if there was one, it'll be different._

_Of course through all our fighting, we never badly hit each other, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did. Johnny doesn't deserve to be hit so much, I bet his parents don't even care that he's gone. That or they don't even know._

_I wonder..._

_"Hey Pony," his voice was soft._

_"Yeah?"_

_"What do you think the gang's doin' right about now?" (Oh dang, why did he have to ask?) I shuddered at the thought. I could only imagined Soda and Two-Bit looking desperately for us. Searching every street and corner on our side of Tulsa. Every hang-out or hot spot that they thought me or Johnny might be at. I know Steve would join in not too long after, if not for Johnny, then for for Soda's sake._

_In the end they don't find a single hint or clue as to where we're at. I'm not so sure how Soda'd handle it. I know I wouldn't be able to go long without my big brother around me. I need him, a whole lot. As much as I'd like to let him know or give him just a sign that we're okay, I knew we couldn't. If I could like send a letter or call him, then he'd go around worrying to much as where I'm at, or something. I really need him right now. But does he need me? What about everyone else, how're things? I wish I could know. What about Darry? I bet he's real happy he dun have to worry 'bout me no more._

_Do they know? __Our disappearances coincide with the death of a Soc. _I doubt the Socs **would not** have blabbed to anyone about the whole thing. Even if they didn't, there was still that.

_Lil ol' Johnny, when he said that he'd stab the next Soc who'd get near him or any one of us, I didn't think he'd do it. I can't say I don't blame him though, what gives the Socs the right anway? They've got money, tuff cars, and cool clothes._

_I wonder what the Socs would do. They know what Johnny did and would tell everyone about it all. I'll bet their using more blades now and the fights are getting nastier._

_But they'll be fine, I know they will. We're greasers and we're tough. It's what we live doing...So maybe things won't be so different after all._

_I continued to shudder and Johnny noticed something went off in my head. "Uh sorry, Pony." "It's okay, Johnny," hopefully I'll never find out. And maybe we'll eventually find a place where greasers and Socs don't exist. Place where it didn't matter how much hair oil a boy had, or by how tuff our cars were. Where maybe money didn't matter so much, or where people didn't fight just because they've got nothing better to do._

_I'm not even sure if a place like that exists._

_..._

_Dallas came to see us the next day or two..._

I never did figure out what went down when we were gone, other than from Soda's letter and the things Dally said. I remember hearing a story about how two bitter rivals became good friends in a fight against each other. I don't remember the details, I'm pretty sure Two-Bit was telling it that time we picked up some of those girls from down-town. They were greasers so they knew the score, I guess they were a little curious if things were different here. But no not really; **things were rough all over.**

I sighed and silently swore at myself. So here I was, standing here at the same grave as one of my best friends. Thankfully, he was buried no too far off from Mom and Dad so whenever I'd go here, I get to visit both of them. I don't think Soda and Darry know that I go here like once or twice every month now.

I didn't know why, but I always felt better coming here and like talk to them, or something. I knew they wouldn't respond but I could at least pretend to hear their voices, if only for just a moment. That alone gave me consolation.

I picked up a single flower, it was a sunflower. It was as close to gold for a flower as I could find around here. So every once in a while, I'd set one here next to Johnny and some for Mom and Dad. For a while I gave Mom and Dad some red roses but people around here kinda thought badly of them since I heard of that one really sad story.

It was about a girl, a poor one, who really loved a boy. They were both poor and she was about to graduate. She heard rumors that he was like gonna propose to her or something like that, but her parents detested the idea. She went against their wishes and stayed for a while. She used more or less all the money she had for a real special date with him. That day was the day after she graduated and the day she would be able to leave her parents' house soon. She called a lot and reminded him to go to there secret hang out, but he never showed up. She waited whole night for him; when she went home, she found a rose in her front door. She always hated the rose (especially a red one), for some reason. He'd know that for sure, so why would he give it to her and not show up? Did he maybe have better things to do? She really doubted it, he promised he'd be there. And the fact that he wouldn't even go in the house and just left her a flower that she so hated meant that he either didn't care or didn't feel the same way about her after all.

She was crushed. The next day, she went to see him while he was working and she saw a few girls flirting with him. Yeah, she was real steamed. But then she _went and did something stupid_, in more ways than one. She felt real bad about the it, but she didn't want to see him again. So now the boy and girl avoid the shit out of each other and probably haven't seen each other since then.

* * *

I looked behind me startled, (Oh, it's just Lee). I calmed down and he walked closer. He looked at the grave, it said the words 'Johnny Cade' on it and had a confused look to him. (I don't think Lee knows Johnny. Well maybe he does, I mean he knows me from that one article. Johnny and Dally were there too.)

I could tell he didn't like me staying here for so long, he does know about it all. So we both left.

Lee stopped me when we passed by an alley and left a few minutes after seeing it.

(_**So...The Black Cat, huh? That's the name you went by?** Nah, he probably went with what everyone called him by. It certainly fits him, no doubt. But I have to wonder, was it all worth it_?) I went on.

*Sigh* (_Why did he keep it a secret, even from me? I wonder, if he told everyone about it, would the outcome of it all be any different?_) I seriously thought about it for the longest time.

(_...No, probably not._) My head was starting to droop down a little.

I know Lee loves his art, everyone seemed to. Socs, greasers, middle-class alike. It's a shame none of the people who followed him were as good as his. Even if they were real good, you easily tell which was his. The Black Cat wasn't like any of us, a true _outsider_. From his old home, and his new one. The others didn't share the same themes he did, they always supported their side or antagonized the other. His did not, but were highly ill-conceived, sadly enough.

Lee probably sensed me feeling down and said we should go to the Dairy Queen. We went every once and a while but I didn't like it so much simply because of the people there. No real greasers went there, normally I didn't mind so much but I knew somehow that today wasn't such a good today to go in.

We opened the door...(Shit.) Socs, Socs, and Socs! All of them stared me down with undying hatred, and I hated them back. All of them. But both me and Lee kept it all hidden. One Soc in particular I had no intention of seeing. But it was already too late now, it's downright awful to just go in a store just to leave the next second. We were both trapped here, there were only a few honorable ways out: cause a fuss or shot somebody. I didn't want to do either. Knowing _that guy_, if I had stayed, there _will _be a fuss, whether or not I like it.

We both found an empty table near the front corner, well away from all them Socs. I looked back at _that guy_, there was little doubt he was gonna go and make some big deal over something. I didn't want to be apart of it, I looked at Lee. I knew he NO problem with a couple of Socs hating on him. They were kinda afraid of him since he makes a lot money in Social and greasy fight clubs. He's pretty famous that way, it's not to say he's never lost but I know he's pretty damn good.

They were deathly afraid of me too, I am, after all a murderer, right? (_Dumb-asses_.) But what was different with Lee and Me is simply that I'm a grease and he's a Soc too. Greasers can fight other greasers, no sweat. But Socs just don't fight outside of fight clubs. It's just wrong. I knew it, they knew it, and Lee knew it.

If _that guy_ wants to go and mess with anyone, it will be with Lee. I knew he was more than happy to do so, Lee loved messing with anyone trying to mess with him. He usually does a good job, using the circumstances and his intelligent composure to his advantage. _He_ can't do anything to Lee.

I asked Lee if he had some grease on him and luckily for me, he did. (What's wrong with this Soc?) I dunno why he always had grease on, I always thought of it weird but I'm not gonna argue, especially not now.

I walked from the table and headed off to the bathroom. I saw at the corner of my eyes, _him_ get up and walk towards Lee. (_Okay, so he's made his decision. Lee, it's your move now._)

It took a while for me or really any other grease to wash our hair. We had to remove out all the grease and then re-grease it again. I was always picky with the way my hair looked. Thank God I got rid of that bleach. It makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.

Lee was really surprised when I did get rid of it. He, Sarah, and Andrea said they actually liked it. I guess it was okay; it wasn't so much the bleach itself that bothered me so much. Okay, so it was, but the main thing was it took away from me. It wasn't me, it just wasn't. And I hated the thought of changing that part of me most.

When I was finally done, I got dried my hands and in the mirror, I saw someone enter the bathroom. It was a Soc. That same one I met months ago. We both looked at each other and were frozen on the spot.

(_Oh shit, what the hell do I say? Sorry I nearly killed you? Yeah, that's gonna go over well._) The poor kid literally backed up to the wall, pale as a ghost. I tried looking sorry and really wanted to apologize, but I knew that wasn't such a great a idea considering where I'm at.

Was he a Soc? I don't know, could he be one of them middle-class people like _R'Neil_? Perhaps one who was accepted as Socs. He had wide, brown eyes but still had a shifty, slightly threatening feel to him despite his current position. He was real small, and his hair was even longer than when I last saw him. I decided not to say anything and just leave.

By the time I left the bathroom, Lee and Dylan were already exchanging looks of hatred and the guy at the counter said that he wanted them out if they hadn't stop. By then, Lee and Dylan had already grabbed the whole place's attention. Lee saw me and smiled, "That's fine, we were on our way anyway." So we both left. (Thank God.)

"Hey Lee, what was that about?" as if I didn't already know. "It's nothing, Ponyboy. All the crap that usually goes on," well yeah. With Dylan there, what else would've happened, right?

Lee got out a cigarette and I couldn't help but stare at it. I was freezing right now, I know I should've gotten a frickin' jacket or something but I don't really like wearing them so much. But a smoke would make it all better, I knew that much for sure.

"Ya' want one?" (Oh God, yes!) But I've quit and I didn't plan on doing all that hard work for nothing. All I could muster up was, "No..." I don't think Lee knows I used to smoke, I know he can kinda guess since I'm a grease, most of us do or at least have tried it once in our life time. I know there was a time Darry used to smoke, but that was a long time ago.

I looked back at his cigarette and shuddered (I really needed a smoke, right now!)

When we got a little closer, even though it was starting to warm up, I was still freezing over, Lee didn't seem to notice so much. I knew that running would help me cope with it all. So I made a break for it, just because.

I made the stupid mistake of looking back at Lee when I ran into somebody. *Thud* When Lee caught up, he said the words, "Dang, don't you ever use your head." I looked at him real annoyed-like, I hated Darry saying that all the time and I didn't need another person saying it too. I think he said it just to annoy me anyway.

"Get off me, you little-" he stopped and we both figured out just who I just ran into. I wonder what he was going to say if it weren't me, but another grease instead. I doubt his response would be the same. But Randy's my friend, I know he doesn't go drinkin' anymore and never beats on greasers either.

"Sorry, Randy," I seemed real sincere. "Oh, don't sweat it, Grease." I paused just a little by reaction. I was more or less fine with Randy or Lee calling me Grease too, but they're still Socs, and I'll never forget that.

He looked at me with a perplexed gaze, "What were you doing, running around like that?" He thought about it and then his eyes shot up before I could answer. He pushed me slightly behind him and asked, "Is there anyone after you, or something?" He looked at Lee curiously.

"Nah, me and Lee were just racing, I looked back and ran into you." (Damn, that sounded a lot dumber than I thought it would.) I got over it real quick.

"Hey what's up, Lee," he extended out a hand. He winced at first but followed his gesture and shook hands. Though they both seemed a little uncomfortable.

"You two know each other?" I cocked my eyebrows. And Lee did the same, "Of course we do, Pony. After all, he dated a good friend of mine a little while back." Randy's eyes flickered at that, and mine bulged but only for a moment so that Randy wouldn't see. _Marcia?_ my face would ask. His responded, _yeah._

They don't dig each other much, Lee and Randy. I'm pretty sure Lee hates Randy simply because he was a Soc who used to go around beating on greasers. I know Randy doesn't like Lee because he basically and publicly antagonizes almost all Socs constantly, which I thought of as a bit excessive if not unnecessary. But they were my friends, the both of them. And I would want them to be friends if possible. Though from the look of things, that wasn't likely.

But at the very least, they could both hide it. And Lee at least knew that Randy's tried to change, which is more than what other Socs have done. Randy admires Lee's courage and knows him from the Social fight clubs before. So yeah, did they like each other? No. But they respected one another.

"So, Randy, what're doin' out here?" his eyes sparked a little. "I actually went over here to see a friend." (That's odd, does Randy know anyone around here?) "I was actually one my way to hang with a couple of my friends. Y'all wanna come?" He looked away soon after knowing that wasn't such a smart thing to say.

"You headed home, Pony?" Randy asked.

"No, actually I'm headed to DX to see Sodapop. He said he's trying to teach me to drive." "Oh really? I'll wish you luck then." Lee grinned at me knowing full well of my auto-mechanics grade.

"Hey, I gotta split soon, Pony." "Where ya' headed?" he grinned inwardly. "I'm going over to see Andrea and we'll the movies later tonight."

Now I smiled a little, "You going to the Nightly Double?" "Yeah." I was a little disappointed, I really wanted him to meet my brothers. I really doubt he's even met anyone of them. He said he'd stop by around like 6 : 30 after my driving lesson would be done. "You should stop by sometime, y'know."

"Yeah, maybe I will someday." He turned over to the other neighborhood and started walk in its direction, "Later man." "See ya, Randy."

Randy looked at his watch, "I gotta go too, good luck Pony and say hi to Sodapop for me."I nodded and grinned, "Sure thing, bye guys."

And all three of us left in separate ways.

* * *

_She didn't have to say it, she just didn't. **That kind of thing goes without saying**. I remember what she said, her words forever embedded in the back of my mind. 'Oh, Ponyboy, please don't leave me...You're my friend, I'm not gonna give up on you...I can't believe you! I don't ever want to see you again!'_

_The moment we both saw each other, time almost froze up on us. Even though we only stopped to look at each other for like a few seconds, I think, it felt like it lasted forever._

_Ever since the last time we met, we both avoided the hell outta each other. I hoped we'd never see each other again, we both did. It's been what? 8 months? I don't even know, but I would hope that maybe things would be a little better between us._

_But I guess not._

_Back then, she looked like she was ready to explode on me, but all she did was speak in a voice so soft I don't even know what she was saying, whatever it was, it couldn't be good. I'd rather take anyone's hate than pity but this was pretty bad. I could feel the blood rushing to my head and if I didn't leave then, I'd holler back at her, only making things worse for everybody._

_But why should I even feel bad? She didn't exactly make it obvious to me, she avoided me even when we were friends. She had no right to get all mad, if she truly felt that way then she should've said something, but she didn't. If she wasn't gonna make a move then someone else would._

_And it'd be too late, then._

She was motionless as I spent a good amount of time glaring at her. Not as angry as I though I ought to be, but more disappointed, actually.

_I have nothing to say to you. It's because of you that I lost some great friends. They were so quick to dismiss me for Jamie then I suppose they never really were my friends. They didn't give me a chance, nor did Jamie. None of them, except R'Neil._

_I don't know what she was feeling, though I honestly didn't care. Why should I? She hasn't given me a good enough reason to care. She was in one of my classes last year, but I remember the first time we actually met and talked was in Biology class where we had to dissect the frog. It was probably a dumb move, but I couldn't cut it open so I got out my switchblade and at that moment she screamed out the words, "Oh my gosh! They're right, you are a hood!"_

_She looked real good in yellow..._

_It was safe to say she was deathly afraid of me after then. Jamie isn't a Soc, but a lot of her friends were. She's a middle-class like R'Neil, and if it weren't for him and that paper about me and Johnny saving all those kids from that fire, she wouldn't take a second look at me. She wouldn't give me a chance if I tried to, not that I would've anyway._

_...Those beautiful blue eyes don't mean a damn thing to me._

And just like that I left the scene with both me and Jamie speechless.

* * *

_I don't care about her, right? Then why can't I shake her off my head? She's always there. I remember the last time I saw her, it didn't end pretty and I had the same problem I do now only it was even worse then._

I began to burn up and it was just a little harder for me to breath.

I finally got to the DX, thank God. I looked for Soda, but couldn't find him so well. So while I waited, I spent some time talking to Rose, one of my classmates. She was real nice to me, she's a grease too. She was so quiet last year, but she seems a lot happier now. I think it's because her big sister moved away, Rose always said that her sister just hated her and she could never find out why. They say her sister got married and lives far, far away from here.

I'm pretty sure she has another sister too.

Rose was a good friend of Andrea and knew Cherry pretty well. But she always seemed had this shifty feeling around her. But it was real hard to look at her in the eyes. They looked almost exactly like Jamie's - big, bright, and blue. It was hard enough for me to approach her without the gut feeling it's just Jamie; though not because their faces looked alike or anything. The eyes. Just the eyes. Who knows, it could easily be her in like a really good costume or something.

She didn't like her name, she loved just about every flower but roses. So most people I knew called her Anne from the name Roseanne. But I liked her a lot, actually. She was nice greasy girl and didn't really bother anyone. Kinda odd since I think her mom like works in a flower shop, or something.

I never really did talk to her until that one day in the park. But I swear she seems and looks so familiar, not like Jamie, but someone else.

I think she noticed I felt sick before she left. I could bluff and hide it. I'm glad Steve and Two-Bit weren't around when we were talking. They would've made a big deal out of it, instead it was just Soda with a wide grin, finally happy to see me around girls more often. But I knew he wasn't gonna bring it up. Maybe I was worse off than I thought.

* * *

Yep, I suck at driving. Maybe it was my big headache, or that _thing _in my head, but either way I just suck. Soda's just lying to me, I'd bet when he was 15 and first started to drive, he'd do it perfectly, that's what I remember. He took the driving test as soon as he possibly could and passed it without breaking a sweat.

But me? I almost got us into an accident! Golly if Darry or Steve were here, I'd never here the end of it. I'm glad I have Soda to teach me to drive, I don't think I can take lessons from them two. And Two-Bit was out of the question, sure he could drive, but I don't think either one of us could ever focus if we tried. I think Dad taught both Soda and Darry.

I didn't like driving around other people, I especially didn't like the whole right of way concept. I can't remember it so well, I see people cut pedestrians all the time so that's what I though we could do - apparently not.

We eventually got closer to the middle of town, there was a car accident so I let Soda take the wheel and drive us both home.

...

"Soda! Why the hell were you driving so fast?" I wasn't mad, just worried. He looked awful red and grinned, "Sorry, Pony. I guess I just got carried away." I don't know what came over me, it was just get a little harder for me to breath, like the air around me just got colder or something. "Pony? You okay?" I don't want Soda worry to much, "Yeah Soda, I'm fine." (I think.)

"Oh cheer up, Ponyboy. Ya' know, when you start driving, work on some cars some more and get real good, I could maybe get you a job at DX."(Say what?) All pain escaped me for only just moment, "You can? Really?"

He went back to that cheesy grin again, "Yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, the boss man still owes me an' Steve an awful lot for everything we've done for him. I reckon I can convince him a thing or two."

(Awesome!) I wonder what it's like working at DX. I'm pretty sure Steve's not gonna be to happy about it, oh well. Tough enough, Steve. "Thanks."

"Ah hell, Pony. I love you man, don't sweat it too much, m'kay?"

* * *

Soon after I left the car, I went back to feeling sick to my stomach. I'd really want a smoke but since I quit that wasn't an option. When Two-Bit opened the door, I went to the kitchen and ran for the asprin. God, my head hurts.

I hated how Steve and Two-Bit were teasing me for my grade in auto-mechanics, well it wasn't like I didn't see it coming a mile away. But with this headache, I seriously wasn't in the mood for it.

Darry was home then, and he seemed to pop outta no where when my grades were mentioned. I snatched my report card from Steve and showed it Darry before he asked me to give it to him. I was glad Darry didn't make a big deal about it, I don't think we ever really fight over that kind of stuff anymore. Which is good, especially for Soda. He was right, it wasn't fair to him then, and I think Darry's taken that to heart.

I kept getting worse and worse, my head was hurting so much that I really didn't want to hear anything right now. Soda asked me something, I wasn't too sure what it was he asked but I did know he said to get to sleep if I really felt that bad. Or at least I hope he did, 'cause I did just that.

It was good to finally relax a bit. Maybe I should've worn a jacket to school today. But for some reason, I seriously doubted that was the reason why I felt so cold right now...

_I don't even understand why we were like this. Was I scared? Scared of losing just another good friend. First Johnny and Dally, then Trae, and now maybe Jamie. Maybe that's why we never gave each other a chance, in the end._

...

_Maybe we were great friends, before. But that was then, and this is now. If she doesn't want it, then so be it._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So I hope that clears up a few questions of yours. But with every question answered, comes even more questions. I told you it was the same as chapter 7, but this was all in Pony's POV instead and there were quite a few differences in the experience. I had to cut the end a little short, didn't want it getting too long.

The next few chapters will probably be much more flashback oriented.

Reviews are always welcome, the more reviews, the sooner I'll update this piece of crap.


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